


You Are The Reason {That I'm Still Breathing}

by TaraB1915



Series: Life With The New Family Queen [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Chemical Weapons, F/M, Family Feels/Fluff, Robbie Queen - Freeform, Sequel, Smut, new characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-07 11:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraB1915/pseuds/TaraB1915
Summary: Oliver and Felicity are personally challenged and their relationship severely tested as the past and present collide and secrets and lies are revealed. Will their marriage survive the re-emergence of an absent father and past lovers?  Unexpected revelations will compel them to define, in their terms, what it means to be true life partners and the importance of truth in relationship.





	1. Unexpected Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This is the SEQUEL to 24hrs With the Queens. I don't know whether you can bypass 24hrs. I suppose. But the roots of the saga begin in Part I. If you begin reading and it doesn't make sense you can always go back.
> 
> BTW I'm writing in British/English and we just love our O.U.R's like colour, clamour, favourite etc. But I try as far as poss to use North American (majority of fandom?) idiom e.g. sidewalk not pavement, jelly not jam...:) Oh and comments welcomed guys. Like to hear your thinking.

Felicity was awake waiting for her husband to rouse from his deep slumber. A half smile turned his kissable lips into an upward curve. His sleeping face looked peaceful and just beautiful. It was so out of character for Oliver to embrace Morpheus so soundly that he seemed dead to the world.

There was a gleeful grin on Felicity's face as she relived their extraordinary night of passion and tender love-making. For the first time in the years they had been together she’d sent Oliver Queen into a sexual fugue. She inadvertently giggled.

“I can hear you boasting minx”.

“Did I wake you sweet baby boy,” she stroked his arm. “I told you to be careful what you asked for. You didn’t listen.”

“Fuck Felicity what the heck did you do to me last night. Will I recover? I’m still feeling boneless.”

She grinned at him. “I have an early meeting at QC with the team on project App(X). I’m going to jump in the shower. You’ll have to give Robbie morning hugs and kisses from both of us. Why don’t you stay and have a lie-in old man?” She smirked at him.

Oliver groaned. “I’ve been well and truly chastised by a minx who came to visit me last night. I can’t even rise to insist on showering with you”. He smirked at her.

Felicity laughed. They frequently had morning sex in the shower, obviously not this morning. “You’re such a party pooper. Yep buddy, a bit limp this morning are we?”

Oliver threw a pillow at her, took another one and wrapped it around his face. He groaned again. “I’ll just stay here until Robbie wakes up or Raisa arrives whichever comes first. In fact I might just stay in bed all day because you've reduced the CEO of QC to pulp”.

“Felicity.”

“What Oliver.”

“I’d really like to see Little Minx again. I want to ask her out on a date. Any chance you could fix me up?”

“You’d better strip the bed when you’re up. The sheets are saturated with your essence” she grinned wickedly at him, bending down to brush his nose with hers. She gave him a quick peck and danced away as he reached to grab her.

Oliver listened to the sounds coming from the shower thinking yet again how damned lucky he was to have this woman in his life. His wife never ceased to delight and surprise him. How was it that after four years he is even more in love with her?

Felicity emerged from the bathroom, her blond hair styled in her trademark ponytail, with the merest touch of blusher and magenta red lips. She was one of those women with a natural flawless complexion.

With a contented smile on his face and hands laced behind his head Oliver watched his wife dress at hyper speed. After four years he was still mesmerised by her and last night had been amazing. He could not remember when, if ever, he’d experienced such exquisite pleasure. Urged by morning wood Oliver was tempted to leap out of bed and drag her back in with him.

“C’mere for a minute.”

Felicity smiled at him knowingly. She was not going anywhere near him. She didn’t trust him not to grab her and pull her down on the bed. She would love a quickie but couldn’t be late, the team would be waiting for her.

“What, no goodbye kiss?” he asked innocently as Felicity moved towards the door.

She blew him a kiss and smirked at him. “Dream on Queen I know my husband by now and he’s not to be trusted.”

“Spoilsport.”

At the door Felicity looks back. “Can we have lunch or do you have something planned?”

“Don’t think so but why don’t I put my head around your door later.” Oliver gave her a penetrating look.

“Yes I know; you have questions about Noah and Donna. I promise to answer them all and more. That's why we need to have lunch. Love you, she mouthed turning to head out the door.

“Love you more. See you later minx.”

______________

Felicity Smoak-Queen is VP of Queen Consolidated Applied Sciences Division and highly respected in her field. She appears regularly in magazine and newspaper articles and on science and technology programmes on radio and television.

She is on her way to an early meeting with her team to discuss the next stage in development of a piece of cutting edge technological innovation known in the team as App(X).

Actually it is not an app at all but a nano-chip that will transform the various apparatus of Government, specifically national security, and will earn QC a veritable fortune. The whole world will want App(X). Felicity had moved with alacrity to patent the concept almost before the first design for the prototype was completed.

She has strict rules about discussions of, and data retention for, the project. With the exception of four people everyone on the team believed they are working on the next generation of implant for individuals with spinal cord injuries.

Only Oliver, Walter Steele and Curtis Holt, the brightest young scientist QC had on staff, and herself know the true purpose and value of App(X). Only the four of them are involved at each test stage, which can only be done at a surface level. The final test before going public would, by necessity, have to be more invasive.

Anyone trying to hack into the AS Division’s systems, which is independent of QC’s general tech systems, would find blueprints for a spinal injury chip, but only if they were lucky and clever enough to bypass or get through the maze Felicity had created to protect App(X). She has gone to great lengths to maintain the confidentiality of her Division’s work.

Felicity parked her car and walked to Starbucks to pick up her usual Frappucino blend and a muffin. As she stepped through the door her eyes locked on Noah’s. He was sitting at a table close to the door.

They stared at each other and Felicity’s heart lurched but she manages to maintain her composure. She placed her order and walked straight to him.

“Hello Noah. What are you doing here, are you stalking me? Don’t think I didn’t notice.” Quick as a flash, Felicity whisked out her cell and snapped him.

Noah looked surprised and a little nervous. “Hello Fee.”

Felicity gulped. She had forgotten that was his childhood name for her.

“Is that any way to greet your dad? Since when do you call me Noah? I’m your father and fathers do not stalk their daughters” he challenged

“Then why did you not come right up and greet me two weeks ago?”

“To tell you the truth, I felt anxious about approaching you out of the blue”.

“Yeah. After nearly 19 years. What do you want Noah?”

“Fee don’t stand there glowering at me. Please take a seat.”

Felicity's order was announced and she stepped away to pay. Walking towards the door she looked in his direction “Goodbye Noah”.

“Fee wait.” He got up and hurried after her. Felicity kept walking. “Please Fee I just want a few minutes of your time" he said placing a hand on her arm.

Felicity looked down very deliberately at his hand then back up to his face. Her eyes glared icy blue and Noah hurriedly dropped his hand. “I’ve got 5 minutes to get to a meeting, I really can’t stop.”

“Fee, please give me a chance. I just want to talk. Then if you don’t want to see me again”...he shrugged.

“I can give you 15 minutes later today. I will meet you in Starbucks at 6p.m. Exactly one minute after 6.15 I’ll be on my way home, as I’m sure you know I have a young son to put to bed.”

“Thank you." Noah decided against saying he was looking forward to meeting Robbie because he knew all about his grandson. He’d rightly judged that it was too early, he didn’t want to push the small headway he’d made today.

Felicity headed up the four wide circular concrete steps to QC’s revolving doors. She was aware of Noah still standing where she had left him staring at her back.

At the reception Felicity took out the photo of Noah. “Good morning Joe. This is my father” showing him the snapshot on her cell. “When I get to my office I’ll transfer his image to you. Should he ever turn up here asking for me, Mr Queen or anyone else, under no circumstances allow him beyond the barrier. Just call me or my husband.”

"Yes Mrs Queen, I’ll let the rest of the security team know."

“Thanks Joe”. She flashed him a smile.

Up in her office Felicity texted Oliver:  
FS-Q: Photo of Noah. Pls pass to Raisa. Tell her who he is. Don’t want him in our house if neither of us there.  
OQ: Okay. Don’t understand but sure you’ll explain later. ILY  
FS-Q: See you later. Me too ;)

Oliver had a brief conversation with Raisa and left the Mansion. He had a distinct feeling his day would hold more than he expected. He wondered when he’d ever find the right time to tell his wife about a particular skeleton in his own cupboard. The past had merged with the present.

The real truth of the matter is that he was terrified that this particular skeleton would disrupt their life together and he simply could not lose her. She was the reason he was still breathing. Oliver reminded himself of that almost on a daily basis.

____________

When Felicity returned from her meeting she found Oliver in her office gazing out at the City’s skyline. He turned when she entered. Her breath caught in her throat at sight of him. His charcoal grey suit was a perfect cut to fit his muscular body. She wanted to ravish him on the spot. He was so damned attractive.

“Felicity Smoak-Queen stop ogling your husband or I swear I’ll bend you over this desk right now.”

“So, I see you have recovered old man”.

He held up a warning finger and perched on the edge of her desk watching her as she leaned back against the door. “We need to hive off Applied Sciences to another building or I won’t get any work done dammit. Every time I see you or think of you one floor below me, the vision of you standing at the door last night assails my senses and I cannot concentrate on work.

She grinned at him. “I cannot take responsibility for your libidinal energy right now Mr Queen, I have stuff to do.”

“Me too. I have a meeting in 10 minutes and another at 2p.m. So can we have lunch at noon? We’ll have a good 90 minutes talk time. I’ve booked a table at the Italian and will come pick you up.”

“That works.”

He strode towards her and gave her a quick peck on the lips then used the excuse of easing her away from the door to fondle her ass and give it a light slap. He gave her a conspiratorial wink. “See you later.”

She wished he hadn’t done that. She missed their shower ritual this morning.

________________

“Now Smoak tell me.” Oliver turned to her once they had ordered their meal.

“We won’t finish this conversation in one sitting, okay? I think it’s ongoing” she gazed intently into his eyes.

“Okay. I get the Donna visit and you can tell me more when you return from Vegas but I don’t quite understand your text about Noah. Do you think he will come to our home uninvited? Did you just snap him in the street? He looked pretty close up.”

“He was waiting for me at Starbucks this morning. He has obviously been tracking my movements for some time. I don’t trust him Oliver and I don’t want him in our home if neither of us is there, and yes I believe he would absolutely show up uninvited and try to charm Raisa into letting him in.”

“Well you need to explain to Raisa why she must turn your father away if it ever comes to that. I told her the barest minimum this morning”.

“Yep. I’ll do that. I also gave Security a copy of the photo because I don’t want him being at large in QC without either me or you. He is a whiz at technology, deviant and capable of anything.”

Felicity had been doing some undercover work ever since she first spotted Noah two weeks ago, and had some idea of what he had been up to but the trail was illusive and went cold periodically.

“I hear and understand what you are saying Felicity, but there is a piece of the jigsaw missing for me and how do you know so much about him? He has been out of your life for so long. Oliver’s piercing blue eyes bore into her. He held up his hand. “Don’t answer that, it was a silly question. You've obviously been dealing with this for far longer than you said at the weekend”.

“I'm sorry baby, you know I like to get my facts straight and my head clear before saying anything. Noah's appearance this morning confirmed everything. And the piece of jigsaw only dropped for me after that dream last night. But it wasn’t a dream Oliver. It was real. I must have been in some sort of weird twilight zone between sleep and wakefulness last night or early this morning and my mind dredged up a memory.

"What I’m telling you actually happened. Two unsavoury types turned up at our house in Vegas about six months after Noah left. They were looking for him. Donna panicked when she saw them and was obviously scared. She made me hide in a cupboard until they left and later that night insisted I sleep in her bed. Mom and I need to have a frank conversation. She asked my father to leave, why would she do that?"

“It’s weird that all this has started to unravel after your nightmare”.

“I think that too. In just 24 hours I feel as if my whole life has started to fall apart or unwind or something. I don’t think I could face it without you and Robbie. The two of you are my anchor.”

Oliver took her hand. “Nothing is falling apart Felicity. We won’t let it. Now tell me about Noah are you going to see him again?”

“Yes. In a style worthy of a monarch, a Queen no less, I granted him a 15-minute audience at Starbucks at 6p.m later on today.”

Oliver laughed. “Wow. You really are on a roll Your Majesty. I almost feel sorry for Noah. Do you want me to come with you or I can wait for you outside Starbucks if it will support you.”

“I'd love you to be there after I’ve seen Noah but I’ll be fine. I prefer that one of us spend time with Robbie at the end of each day. Both of us will be late tomorrow, and I hate the thought of him not seeing one or other of his parents before falling asleep because we are at work making money or something.”

“Yes, I know. I’ll be back at the Mansion by the time you meet your dad. But call me if you need me and your boys will come get you.”

“I’ll be okay and will be back home before he goes to sleep. Noah gets 15 minutes tops, not a second more.”

“Why did you say we are both out tomorrow? Are you off somewhere?”

Felicity hesitated. She felt nervous. “Well technically we won’t both be out because you'll be home to put him to bed before going to the Foundry.

Her agitation was apparent to Oliver. “What is it baby? Are you pregnant already? He teased grinning at her. “You ought to be after....”

“What? No” she interrupted him. “I’m meeting up with Caitlin tomorrow after work. Can you join us for about an hour say between 8 and 9pm? I’ve already put Raisa on babysitting alert. Sorry to spring it on you but in all the excitement it slipped my mind.”

Oliver looked at her quizzically. “Is this a social occasion?”

“No. I’m having a session with her.”

Oliver stared intently at Felicity. A hundred questions raced through his mind.

“I can hear all the questions you have and in your place I'd have them too. I’m not seeing Cait in a professional capacity. Not really. We are sisters and she has helped me before.”

“Helped you? With What?”

“Oh Oliver, I’ve been dreading asking you to do this precisely because I expected this response.”

“Well I’m confused Felicity. You drop something on me and I don't have a clue what is going on. Is this to do with what we have been talking about?”

“It’s to do specifically with my nightmare. It is about Slade projected as my dad but you were all mixed up in there too somehow.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I never want to have secrets from you, well not secrets exactly...just keeping any part of myself hidden... from you if it will cause any misunderstanding now or whenever. I want our relationship to be untarnished by hidden things. I am not going to splurge everything on you in one sitting. When I say secrets I don’t mean actual secrets....

...there are things like feelings and what I'm thinking about a specific thing or anything that I want out in the open between us, and I want to do this one in context. Oh god Oliver, I’m not making any sense am I?” Felicity knew she was babbling as she tended to do when nervous.

She caught an almost imperceptible flicker behind Oliver's eyes as she spoke. It was quickly veiled. But she had seen it. "I know there are things about your time on the Island, supposedly, that you've not shared with me or anyone else. Things that have shaped you and govern your response even towards me and Robbie. I‘m not trying to guilt trip you or force you to share with me. This really is not about you, it’s about me."

“Okay,” Oliver’s eyes were expressionless “but what touches or affects you will touch and affect me too.”

“Exactly. See, you get it. That’s why I want you to come tomorrow because I’ve been affected by a lot in the last 24 hours. My past is touching our present and it will be disruptive. I just know that.”

A vein ticked in his neck, a veil had definitely fallen between them. It was in his eyes and she could feel it. “We should ask for the check and head out. Don’t want you to be late for your meeting. And I promise to say more about the Caitlin thing before tomorrow night Okay?” She smiled at him.

Oliver took her hand kissed it and got up to hold her chair as she rose from her seat. They walked back to QC in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. A little of the lightness of being between them had evaporated.

Back in the office Felicity texted Caitlin:  
FS-Q: Would like Oliver to join session tomorrow (not for meal). Okay with you? BTW seeing Noah later today. Tell you more later.  
CS: Gosh woman can’t keep up with you. OK re OQ if in interest of transparency .

\----------

At precisely one minute to six Felicity Smoak-Queen walked into Starbucks. Noah was already there waiting for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> App(X) is a feature in the story going forward. And what will father say to daughter in just 15 minutes and do we know what troubles our Oliver?


	2. Legacy of the Absent Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity meets Noah and needs comfort from her husband.

Felicity took the chair opposite her father. 

“Thanks for the opportunity to talk again Fee. You don’t know how much it means to me...”

“I have exactly 15 minutes Noah” Felicity interrupted “so tell me why are you here?" 

Felicity was watching him with forensic eyes that assessed every nuance in his voice, the shading in his eyes, the slightest change in demeanour. Noah’s body shifted in his seat at her question. Something, perhaps anger, flashed in his eyes. He looked genial with an apparently benign fatherly gaze, but his smile never quite reached his eyes. There was something snakelike about this man, her father. Felicity felt a cold finger running down her spine. 

“Fee I know it will take time but if you’d let me, I really want to be in your life again. Give me a chance. Please. Do you want me to beg? I would love to get to know my grandson.

Felicity stiffened. Too soon Noah thought. That was a mistake.

“Why dad? Where have you been all these years, years when I needed you most. Now I have my own family, now you want to be in my life?” 

“Well at least you called me dad. I kept track of you all these years you know Felicity. In Vegas, in Boston and now in Star City. I know of your outstanding academic achievements. I knew when you got married to Oliver Queen and wished I could have walked you down the aisle on one of the most important days in a woman’s life. I knew when your son was born.

"I’ve purchased, read and kept every article you’ve written or featured in, I’ve watched you on TV and listened to you on the radio. I have recordings of it all. I am so proud of you Fee.” Noah looked as if he wanted to say something else but changed his mind.

“Why did you leave us dad, can you tell me that? I deserve to know”.

“Do you want something to drink? Shall I...”

“Answer my question dad.”

Noah looked out of the window. “I would prefer it if you asked your mother that.”

“Fine.” Felicity already knew part of the answer, the part where Donna had asked him to leave. She needed to know why. He obviously weren’t going to tell her and she had no leverage. “So where have you been for 19 years? Did you never want to contact us? Me?”

“Oh Fee. It is complicated.”

"No dad. It really isn’t. For years I believed you simply abandoned your wife and child without a backward look and now you tell me it’s complicated? That really isn’t good enough Noah." 

“Well I’ve had to find work wherever I could. I’ve done a bit of travelling abroad.”

“And what about the gambling, how is that going?" 

Noah looked startled. His face registered his unease. He did not realise Felicity knew about that. Her mother must have said something. What else did Felicity know about him? His daughter was very smart, well he knew that but there was something about her quiet appraisal of him that made him feel both uncomfortable and put him on his guard. 

“Oh I know about it” she responded to his unasked question, “I’ve always known.” At a young age Felicity had heard the exchange of harsh words between her parents, mostly on one theme: Donna told her husband how irresponsible he was to risk his own daughter’s future by throwing his money away week after week. What about her education? How would they ever pay for that?

In a raised angry voice, without regard for whether their young child could hear, Noah Kuttler told his wife it was precisely because he cared about his daughter that he takes steps to ensure her future. When she was much older Felicity had been able to put two and two together and arrived at the indisputable fact. Her father was a gambler.

"Look Fee, let...”

“Not now dad. Sorry but I really have to go.” 

“Can we meet again? I am in Star City to beg your forgiveness and just to have these conversations in the hope we can eventually come to some understanding. I really want to be in your life again. I love you, always have and always will.”

Felicity stared at her father. She was struggling to stop the tears from brimming. She breathed out and took a long shuddering breath in. 

“Can we meet again again or can I call you? Please Felicity. I am begging you now”.

Felicity made a decision. She took out her business card and pushed it across the table. “Call me but not this week, I need some space to digest all this. Goodbye Noah.”

She got up and quickly left Starbucks. Her emotions were raw and spiralling. She wanted to cry. She wanted to be sick. She wanted to run. She wanted Oliver. Her mini was in QC’s car park but she was not sure she would be able to drive. Hailing a cab Felicity went home to her husband and son.

Home at last, Felicity leaned back against her front door and closed her eyes for several minutes trying to regain her equilibrium before embracing her family. She dropped her keys in the bowl on the hall table. “Hey guys anyone at home? Where are my boys?”

Oliver appeared at the top of the stairs and beckoned to her. Felicity kicked off her shoes and walked up to meet him. Oliver searched her face. Her eyes were a blue smudge and she looked tensed. He pulled her into his arms and just held her close. He felt the tremor in her body.

Felicity took a long cleansing breathe in then pushed it out through her mouth. She held on tightly to her husband. She needed his strength. She gave him a weak smile took his hand and walked into their son’s room.

Robbie was sitting on his bed turning over the pages of his story book. He looked up and beamed at his mother then literally flew into her outstretched arms. 

She scooped him up for a hug and a week’s worth of kisses. He took her face between his hands, stared at her, kissed her and settled his head on her chest. Felicity buried her face in her son’s hair and breathed him in. He smelt of soap and water.

Watching her, Oliver noted the general unhinged feel of her, her lips were trembling and she was trying to cover up by putting on a relaxed cheery manner that she was not feeling for Robbie’s shake. What the hell did Noah say to her? His heart ached for her. He would hold her and soothe her as soon as they had Robbie settled.

“Mama, Daddy read the story with crocodiles. I was scared.” Robbie pretended to shiver.

“No you weren’t” Felicity pushed him over on the bed and tickled his foot. “Stop it mama” Robbie squealed as he tried to roll away from her. “Help me daddy”.

Oliver play tackled Felicity down on to Robbie’s bed. The small boy jumped on his father’s back holding him around his neck. He soon found himself between two parents being smothered in kisses. He giggled and shouted uproariously.

It took the Queens longer than usual to settle a small boy down to sleep.

_______  
Downstairs in the kitchen Oliver asked Felicity if she wanted a glass of wine.

“Yes please, exactly what I need. Red please.”

“Let’s go and relax on the sofa for a while. Raisa has left plenty of food if you’re hungry."

“I could eat something but not quite yet. I want a glass or two or three of wine, while being held by my husband and just to breathe for a while.” 

“Aha. Exactly what the doctor ordered”, said her husband and he reached for her hand.

“Was it rough? I can see that you are not okay” Oliver asked after a while. “I was thinking of you and waiting for the phone to ring”.

Felicity smiled at him. I don’t really know how it was but I feel a little overwhelmed. I struggled not to cry in front of him.”

Oliver waited silently. She would tell him just as much as she felt able when she felt able and he wouldn’t push her.

“He wants to see me again. I gave him my business card and asked him not to call this week”.

Oliver kept silent and listened. 

“Let’s eat something” Felicity took Oliver’s hand and tugged him to his feet. They ate mostly in silence sharing snippets of their day. 

“Come on” Oliver reached for her hand. Felicity had said nothing more about Noah. All in her own good time. “Let’s relax for a bit and finish this bottle of wine.”

“Are you not going to the Foundry tonight?” 

“Digg and Roy will be there. Thea has employed her new Manager so they both have more free time. I thought perhaps I would stay in the Comms room with you tonight. I told them to call if they need me. Life seems to be quiet at the moment.”

Once Oliver and Felicity knew they were expecting Robbie a state of the art Overwatch comms centre with glass walls had been installed in the basement of the Mansion next to the gym. It was networked with the Foundry so Felicity could be involved via video with everything that was going on. 

She missed the physical closeness with the team but sometimes it was possible for her to join them whenever Donna came to stay for a period longer than a weekend or when Thea had Robbie for one of her famous sleepovers. If something major was happening Raisa had her own room in the mansion and happily slept over for several days at a time if required.

“That’s good. I’m happy” Felicity gave him a tremulous smile. “You make me happy”. Her eyes were soft and she seemed very small and vulnerable.

Oliver smiled back at her. There is no way he would have left her tonight. He wrapped his arms around her holding her close to his heart. Felicity burrowed her face into his neck and breathed him in.” There was the merest trace of sandalwood, as if wafting past on the breeze, leaving just the familiar warmth of his skin. 

“I feel so confused. Noah said some things to me tonight, things I longed to hear from him for such a long time. But I cannot trust his words they are wiped out by the fact that he is not a good man. He is deviousness and manipulative but I’m afraid he will suck me in and end up breaking me into a million pieces. I wished he had just stayed away. How am I going to get through this? I don’t know who he is, how I feel about him, how to be with him."

“Shh, shh. It’s okay I’m here and will be with you in this all the way”. Oliver tightened his arms around her. And finally the dam burst. All those years of longing and regret, of wanting and disappointment came flooding out. Felicity sobbed. Her heart was breaking.

Oliver pulled her on to his lap and wrapped her in his love. His lips put soft kisses on her hair, her cheek, her eyes, on the corner of her mouth. The grief, because that is what it was – the pain of loss – wracked her body. Oliver rocked her like a baby.

Once the worse of the storm had passed, she timorously reached for his lips. It began with a soft comforting kiss then it deepened. Her tongue slipped inside his mouth and gentle stroked his. Oliver was very pliant allowing her to seek and take whatever she needed. He was there to respond to her need.

Her arms slipped around his neck as she sought comfort, ease and solace in him. Oliver’s hand reached beneath her blouse to stroke her warm skin. He sensed her unspoken need and very slowly undressed her and laid her gently on the large roomy couch while he removed his own clothes.

Her eyes locked on his, her soft lips parted as she stared up at him with want and longing. Oliver lay on his side facing her and placed warm wet kisses all over her body. He sucked tenderly on the pulse point at her throat. She moaned softy when his mouth found her breast and his hand inched towards where she needed it to be. He put two fingers inside her and pumped her gently, lovingly, his movement in sync with the rhythm of his lips and tongue circling and pulling on her nipple. Sensation pulsed at her core, and her body arched closer to his. She wanted to merge with him; get inside his skin had it been possible. 

"I want you inside me" she said softly. He was already settling between her thighs and slipped effortlessly into her sacred place. He cradled her face with his hands and searched her eyes. He found longing and a trusting acceptance. He began to move slowly and gently inside her with something akin to reverence. 

This was all about her and what she needed in the moment, coming home for shelter from the storm. It was not their usual hot passionate coupling. This was sensuous – a receptive and responsive sensitivity; It was deep and intense, a worshipping with mind, body and soul. Oliver continued his slow but purposeful movements as her inner walls caressed him and drew him in deeper. Her juices flowed. He was floating with her on billowing clouds drifting to far horizons. Oliver's eyes closed.

The Mansion and everything around them faded away. There were just two bodies merged together in eternity. Felicity’s orgasm came in soft waves. She cried out and held on to him as she trembled in his arms. She buried her face into his neck and kissed him. “Thank you” she whispered once she came back to herself, “that was just perfect”. He kissed her and they held each other. 

Some time passed before she tapped his shoulder. “We should at least get dressed in case you are called.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Okay but at least let’s go to the Comms room so we can check in with the guys.”

Oliver got up and passed her clothes then got dressed himself. “Okay, and if you are up to it can we talk about your session with Caitlin tomorrow?”

"Yes, I want to do that, and follow up on those weird deliveries to that warehouse near the docks over the last few weeks. I think there is a pattern. I feel uneasy about it. I’ll switch on the video/intercom system in Robbie’s room and meet you downstairs.” 

__________  
Once they settled in the basement Oliver turned to Felicity, “tell me”.

She knew what he wanted to know. “Promise to listen first until I’ve finished and ask all your questions after?”

“Okay.”

She told him about her nightmares after Cooper and how Caitlin had helped her through them. She acquired a deeper understanding of how she had been in relationship with her first boyfriend. Basically, she had allowed Cooper to walk all over her for fear of losing him. She could see how badly she had been treated by him and had to ask herself why she had put up with it.

Oliver opened his mouth to speak. She gave him a look and held up a finger. Oliver smiled and pulled his lips inside and nodded at her. 

“My own voice of insecurity derails me sometimes. I couldn’t believe for instance that you could love me and want to be with me. That is about my insecurity about the relationship with Noah and it seeps into my relationship with men. It’s all to do with my trust and abandonment issues. I get that now. I did what Cooper wanted, I let him use me, including been unfaithful because I didn’t want him to leave me. In the end I don’t think I even liked him. 

Deep down inside I don’t really trust men, and am too ready to run as a way of protecting myself. But I do trust you. What if Noah’s presence erodes my trust again...in you...in our relationship? His return has just confused me.” 

The cold hand of fear gripped Oliver’s heart. Would she see him as violating the trust she had in him. This day had to come, and it was all his fault. What was the matter with him? Why would he jeopardise everything he ever wanted and didn’t even think was possible through sheer cowardice. At the same time he knew it was so much more than that but could he adequately explain it to her? 

He was not good with words, especially when it came to expressing to her face how he felt about her. He found it difficult to pull his thoughts together and be articulate and coherent. He tended to clammed up and just came across as insincere or worse still lying or not trusting her enough to let her in. At those times she got upset and turned away from him.

As she watched him Felicity thought Oliver looked panicked and tried to reassure him. “This really is not about you Oliver. This is all my stuff nothing to do with you. Okay, you can speak now”.

She was wrong her process had everything to do with him and their relationship and he felt sick thinking about what was to come. “Sometime, not tonight, I want to understand more about your relationship with Cooper, but do you think I have used you in any way?” 

“No Oliver, it’s nothing like that. Do you not know how much I need you, how much I depend on you, how much I love you?”

“What is it then?”

“I’ve learnt from Cait that everything that appears in dreams are associative, you know, have symbolic meaning only. So if you asked me who I associated Slade Wilson with here and now in my life, I would say my dad who followed me for at least two weeks and quite honestly, I felt slightly menaced.” 

“But the child does not want daddy to be the bad guy so you substituted Slade in the dream or the nightmare.”

“Yes exactly, you’re getting this. Cait would be impressed. He is a threat to my life with you – with my family”. Felicity had a faraway look in her eyes. “I have two thoughts about the voice, your voice, in the dream. It chimes with what Noah said in Starbucks. He was saying all the things I longed to hear but I did not trust it. I refuse to allow myself to be sucked in by it. At the same time the voice is also my own inner masculine, encouraging and urging me to believe in my own power and in my ability to succeed."

“You know what I’m going to say don’t you, I want to be the masculine inside of you.” 

She giggled “I left the door open for that one didn’t I?”

“Yes you did. Oliver grinned at her. “I’m trying to follow what you’re saying Felicity but I get lost in places.” He sighed. “You are one of the most confident and able people I know”.

“I know you think that, and I'm really good at projecting it. I function at genius levels, I have two degrees from a top university and I'm the best hacker the world has ever known. All of that Oliver. But I am talking about relationships, specifically mine and yours.

“But our relationship is strong and really good Felicity. I believe that.” He was depending on the strength of their relationship to take them through the revelations he had to make.

“Oliver I want our relationship to be the best that it can be. I don’t want to lose you ever, especially if it’s over crossed wires or you interpreting my insecurities and stubbornness as being hostile towards you. In the session with Cait tomorrow you don’t have to say anything, I just want you be a silent observer/listener. I want you to understand what my triggers are and how my innermost thoughts make me react to situations/events, even to you.

“You are not going to lose me Felicity. Not ever. I’d climb every mountain and swim every ocean just to be with you.”

A slow grin spread over Felicity’s face, it invaded every pore. A bubble of happy laughter fell out of her mouth. “Wait. Oliver Jonas Queen are you...did you just use the words of a love song?"

Oliver laughed. “I wondered if you’d recognise them. I have an entire play list of crazy in love songs on my iPod. Don’t you dare tell Thea, I’ll never live it down.” But somehow he just knew Felicity would expose him at some inopportune time.

“Whoa. I definitely want to hear those. I love Calum Scott’s _You are the Reason_ ”. Who knew that the growly Arrow, my husband, is a big romantic softie?”

“I’ll admit now when I thought you were going off with Barry, I was so jealous but he seemed more at your intellectual level, you know in that nerdy way. And given all that nonsense about not being with someone I could really care about...  
But when you went off with Palmer it drove me insane. I came to find you at Palmer Tech that night you were going to dinner with him and saw the two of you kissing.”

“Oliver! Why is this the first time I am hearing this from you? Digg told me that it was affecting you and it was dangerous. I didn’t quite get the fullness of what he was trying to say. It was the first time I was going out with Ray and anyway it was business.”

“Well that kiss didn't look very businesslike”. 

"Why didn't you say something at the time? I would have been in your arms in a second...well maybe”. 

“I was really fucked up at that time. I was just an idiot. After I saw you and Palmer I went back to the Foundry and swept everything off the table and frightened the life out of Roy who was there at the time.” 

Felicity’s eyes widened. “He never told me. What did you do then?”

“I was so angry at Palmer and you – sorry...I felt so lonely and sorry for myself. That night Roy and I went to Digg and Lyla’s for company and to be with family. I think we felt like two orphaned lost boys. I thought I’d lost you for good and found songs like _You Are the Reason_ comforting. It was everything that I wanted to say to you but couldn’t." 

Felicity flew into Oliver’s arms and held him tight. She put one hand on this heart and kissed his throat, neck, and under his chin. Oliver bent down to seek her lips with his. He gave her soft kisses, then angled his mouth over hers and lost himself in her sweetness.

He wished they could stay exactly as they were in this moment but he knew that more disruption was imminent and he would be the cause of it. He fervently wanted to protect her, a deeply embedded instinct he held towards her soon after he’d met her. 

They were interrupted by a buzz from the comms room. Felicity ran over and switched on the camera. It was Digg.  
“Hey, we have activity at that warehouse near the docks again. Check it out. Oliver I think you need to come in, we should take a closer look. I have a bad feeling about this.” 

“So do I” said Felicity. “But I’ve got absolutely nothing to track, not even a vehicle just shadowy figures ferrying boxes at weird times. Why at night and at a time when not another soul is around. What the heck are in those boxes? That’s what I want to know. I keep hoping that something will pop but it looks hopeless, unless you guys get in close and personal.” 

Digg do you think that you and Roy can handle...”

“No Oliver, it’s fine, I’m fine. You go” Felicity looked up at her husband.

“Are you sure?” She nodded at him and smiled to reassure him. Oliver looked into her eyes to check whether he could find a different reading. “I’ll be right with you Digg” he said “give me twenty minutes. No, meet you at the Docks.” 

Oliver took Felicity’s hand and drew her away from the screen. “We will continue our make out session later. And I’m fine with joining you at Caitlin’s. I get it. I wish I didn’t have to leave you tonight.” 

“Go, go. This is what we do. Arrow and Overwatch, partners in all things. Go on, I’ll be in your ear. You are in my heart.”

“Is that a song”, he teased as they gave each other one last lingering kiss. “Don’t wait up” he whispered. 

"I need to" she replied pushing him out of the door. She returned to the monitor to keep watch over her boys. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The clandestine deliveries to the warehouse near the Docks loom large in a future chapter and are significant in the ongoing family Queen saga. 
> 
> These are the (very Olicity) lyrics for _You Are the Reason_ by Calum Scott:
> 
> There goes my heart beating  
> 'Cause you are the reason  
> I'm losing my sleep  
> Please come back now
> 
> There goes my mind racing  
> And you are the reason  
> That I'm still breathing  
> I'm hopeless now
> 
> I'd climb every mountain  
> And swim every ocean  
> Just to be with you  
> And fix what I've broken  
> Oh, 'cause I need you to see  
> That you are the reason
> 
> There goes my hand shaking  
> And you are the reason  
> My heart keeps bleeding  
> I need you now
> 
> If I could turn back the clock  
> I'd make sure the light defeated the dark  
> I'd spend every hour, of every day  
> Keeping you safe
> 
> And I'd climb every mountain  
> And swim every ocean  
> Just to be with you  
> And fix what I've broken  
> Oh, 'cause I need you to see  
> That you are the reason, oh  
> (I don't wanna fight no more)  
> (I don't…


	3. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We eavesdrop on a conversation via burner phones whilst Caitlin and Felicity reminisce and Oliver reviews the issue that troubles him.

In the early hours of the morning somewhere in Star City two voices belonging to two people who hardly ever slept, speak on burner phones:

_Voice 1: I expected to hear from you by now. You’ve been here nearly three weeks._

_Voice 2: These things take time. I can’t just snap my figures and hey presto._

_Voice 1: I don’t care how you do it. Just get it done. I gave you a chance but will not hesitate to take things into my own hands. If that happens you will not like the fallout. Do you understand?_

_Voice 2: Yes. But we have come so far and it’s working at my end, even if slow and we should not risk blowing the whole operation by being impatient and over-zealous. I need another couple of weeks. By then I will have something to report._

_Voice 1: I will want more than a report. I will want to hear that the stage is primed for action._

_Voice 2 let out a deep sigh. “Okay. I will be in touch.” The phone clicked off in his ear._

_The person behind the second voice felt the usual irritation rising up, as it always did after these conversations. He had done well. He had executed part one of his plan and would set part two rolling within a few days. His partner, if he could be called that, was adept at using brute force as a means to an end but his grey matter was sadly lacking._

_All the same he needed to keep him on board because his so-called partner was essential for his protection in more ways than one._

_The owner of voice 2 was satisfied with his efforts. So far so good._

\---------------------

At the same time the two voices were conversing Oliver Queen was struggling to fall asleep. It was 1a.m when he arrived back at the Mansion. He expected Felicity to be in bed and hopefully asleep. It had been, all things taken into consideration, an exhausting day. He was right. She was. 

Some hours earlier he’d met up with Roy and Digg at the Docks but everything was quiet. The delivery men had completed their business and were nowhere to be seen. The team planned to set up surveillance over the next few days close to the warehouse between 11p.m and midnight when the delivery men tend to show up.

Oliver went into the bathroom and emerged again in just his boxers. He climbed into bed and pushed his body right up against hers. She hummed and snuggled into him. 

He stayed awake for a long while. His mind had been churning ever since their conversation at lunch the day before. There was a weight on his shoulders which he desperately wanted to offload but he was conflicted. Perhaps he should have a talk with Caitlin himself. He’d think about it later, once he'd observed her session with Felicity. 

By the time Oliver managed to doze off it was almost dawn.

\-------------------

Felicity loved Caitlin’s apartment. It was modern yet very homely. It was always filled with flowers. The two friends gave each other a full body hug. 

“Let’s eat and talk. It’s all laid out in the kitchen diner.” 

“Chinese takeout? Felicity asked grinning.” 

“What else? Wanted to remind you of your college days.” 

“As long as you have crispy duck, dimsum and spring rolls.”

They sat and helped themselves. “I’d offer you some wine but I think better not”.

“Yep. No wine. Wine and regression don’t mix...yeah, yeah I know it’s not actual regression except it is because I am going back to last Sunday early morning.” 

“Fee! Chill out. How many times have we done this? Are you nervous about having Oliver here? You did invite him. How does he feel about it by the way?” 

“Suppose I am a bit but I want him here. When I started explaining it to him it made him anxious, thinking I was comparing him to Cooper. He asked if I thought he was using me. Typical Oliver, always ready to take on blame. After I explained it was about me and my insecurities and how much I wanted him to understand me. I think he got it.  


He expects to be a silent observer. I actually think I triggered something for him. He looked sort of weird but said nothing." 

“Well this is about you, not him. I've reviewed your brief recap of the nightmare. Gosh your dreams and nightmare are always so vivid, its quite scary. I should make you a case-study for my next book. Have you selected the strongest images that stood out for you?” 

“I have three – Slade, Oliver’s voice, and feelings of abject fear when I thought Slade was going to rape me. I think I have pinned the first two and have a vague idea of what the third means, if I think in terms of Slade being my father. 

“Wow. I have been a good teacher haven't I. Don't think you need me anymore. You can do this for yourself. As you know I will use your images as prompts and will be taping so you have a record of what you say.  
So, apart from Noah turning up on your doorstep and the Vegas trip to see Donna, what else is going on in your life? Nice little gathering on Sunday by the way. Tommy and Laurel seemed really happy together. Oh, and David said he really liked Oliver after being a bit sceptical about billionaires.” 

“Which do you want me to respond to first?” 

“Oh I don’t know Fee. You Queens lead such an exciting and fascinating life compared to the rest of us commoners.”

Felicity grinned. “I’ll tell you something interesting. Callum MacTaggart popped into my head a couple of days ago. I haven’t thought about him for years.” 

“Who? Oh yes the handsome lothario. I didn’t remember his last name. Callum, Mr Mystery, the old guy who popped your cherry. Cooper doesn’t count.” 

“Caitlin! You have absolutely no evidence he was a lothario and he wasn’t that old, only 39 to my 19. That’s only 20 years. He wasn’t 60 for god sake.” 

“Well he seduced you didn’t he – an older, much older experienced worldly man takes advantage of the young inexperienced, and dare I say naive, student. He ravished your mama’s baby girl.” Catlin leered at her. 

Laughing, Felicity threw a cushion at her. “It was nothing like that and you know it. I’m ashamed to say he crossed my mind while Oliver and I were having some fun in bed.” 

"Fee! You wanton little minx! Were you initiating your husband into the dark arts? I bet he doesn’t need it." 

“Okay. Subject closed. I am not saying anymore.”

“Spoilsport. Go on tell me again some of the things you and Callum got up to in the bedroom and anywhere else for that matter”. 

“Caitlin Snow will you shut up!” 

Felicity had known that for some reason Caitlin did not really approve of Callum but she didn’t make a big deal of it. Cait was always pleasant to him but a little distant. 

________________

BOSTON SEVEN YEARS AGO  
_Felicity frequented the same diner three times a day, every day for the week of Cooper’s trial. At lunch time on day two a breathtakingly handsome man asked whether he could join her since there was no other table available. Felicity did a quick scan of the diner to check out whether it was a pick up line. That was the last thing she wanted._

_“Of course”, she indicated a chair with a wave of her hand._

 _Giving him a surreptitious glance as he sat down, she noted his closely cropped dark hair. The cut suited his rugged looks. His eyes were a startling emerald green, perhaps a shade darker. His body was obviously well-toned from what she could see. Not that she was looking. He was quite a bit older than the guys she and Caitlin would normally hang out with but still attractive._

_Callum noticed her giving him the once over. It amused him. He still had it then. “Do I pass muster?”_

_Felicity jumped in her chair and blushed liberally._

_From a quick appraising sweep of the room when he first entered the diner – this was as normal to him as breathing - his eyes honed in on her immediately. Hunched over a book, a tablet on the table beside her and her long black hair forming a curtain around her face. With her toned down Goth look – this complete stranger attracted his attention._

_Callum MacTaggart was intrigued. She was so not his type. Too young for one and quite unsophisticated. He observed her reaction to his challenge. The blush spread over her face and crept down her neck._

_“I’m sorry, I...I didn’t mean to stare. My mind is actually elsewhere.”_

_“My name is Callum by the way, Callum MacTaggart”._

_“Felicity Smoak”. She stretched out a hand in his direction. His handshake was firm and surprisingly comforting. Weird way to describe a handshake but that’s how it felt._

_“Please to meet you”._

_“Likewise Miss Smoak”._

_She could not quite place his accent. It was most definitely not American, although there was a New England tinge to it. Certain words carried a soft burr probably of Scottish lineage as his name suggested. “Call me Felicity since we are going to be lunch companions today, except that I am almost finished now. Just need a coffee before I head back”._

_“Back to work?”_

_“No I’m a witness in court”. Damn, she did not mean to say that. She was not keen to discuss her business with a total stranger. She hoped he would not question her further._

_Callum ‘heard’ her regret in saying more than she intended. What was she hiding. Miss Smoak was definitely an intriguing woman. Because close up that’s what he saw, not a nerdy looking girl engrossed in a book, an obscure tome on computer coding. His interest was piqued even further._

_The waitress came to take Callum’s order. Felicity was careful to avoid appraising him again. He obviously had eyes like a hawk. "So Callum do you work in Boston?"_

_“Yes and no”._

_“Oh?”_

_“I am here for six months on an assignment.”_

 _“On assignment? Are you a spy or something?” Shit. Felicity had no idea why she said that._

_Callum laughed. “You have a vivid imagination Miss Smoak”. I wonder why your mind jumped to spy. Actually, I am a consultant working in Boston with a Government department._

_Did consultants go on assignments?_

_"I don’t know Miss Smoak. Who do you think would go on assignments? Oh yes, spies.” He looked at her with unabashed amusement._

_Oh shit she had said that out loud. Was he laughing at her? “Sorry. I’m not been nosey. It’s just that I have a natural curiosity about people and things, and I hate mysteries."_

_“So you find me mysterious and you read spy thrillers?”_

_Yes, he was definitely laughing at her. Damn the man, he was able to look directly into her brain. Felicity made no response and hoped her lack of brain to mouth filter would not let her down further._

_Felicity peered at Callum. Green eyes were twinkling staring right back at her. She really hoped she had not said the last thought out loud._

_“Tell you what" he volunteered, "I’m often here for lunch so if you are here tomorrow I’d be happy to divulge all my dirty little secrets.”_

_She grinned. “You promise?”_

_“Of course Miss Smoak. My word is my bond."_

_“I’ll hold you to that. I do have to go now, don’t want to be late.”_

_Callum stood up and gave her an old fashioned bow, his eyes never leaving hers. “Until tomorrow then Miss Smoak. I look forward to it.”_

_“See you Callum and please call me Felicity”._

_He nodded once, “Felicity” he intoned. He remained standing until she was out of the door. She waved to him.  
The man is an enigma Felicity mused as she walked away. He had definitely piqued her curiosity...and her interest although he was much older and too sophisticated. The guys she knew were boys compared to Callum McTaggart. Felicity checked herself. What are you thinking Smoak? She giggled at her lunch time interlude._

_The next day Felicity went ahead and ordered her lunch before Callum put in an appearance. Her time was limited and she really couldn’t wait on him. When he stepped through the door, Felicity felt a tinge of excitement or something...she grinned broadly at him._

_“Ah here you are Miss Smoak. Do you come here often?”_

_“Well if that’s the best you can up with you might as well sit down.” She giggled, “and enough of Miss Smoak already, my name is Felicity. If you call me Miss Smoak once more I shall have to use my loud voice on you”._

_"Okay Felicity, Felicity it is. Cross my heart. So no need for loud voice."_

_In the brief 50 minutes they had to talk she told Callum a lot about herself. Her home was in Las Vegas where she lived with a single mum who was a cocktail waitress. About how she was really a loner but had a best friend Caitlin. He heard all about her studies and her dreams for the future, including setting up her own her company. She was a witness in court against a former boyfriend but she kept the circumstances of that to a bare minimum._

_Callum told her was half Irish and half Scots but his home was in Scotland. He had one sister and two brothers. His travelled extensively as a training consultant. He regaled her with anecdotes about various exploits in his youth._

_They both agreed to meet for lunch again the next day. It wasn’t until Felicity was heading to the courtroom she realised that Callum appeared to talk a lot but had actually said little. She knew next to nothing about him yet he knew every last stitch of her life._

_She huffed in part annoyance. The man was a mystery. She got that the instant he asked whether he could join her on that first day, but she really did not have the time or sufficient motivation to delve into the mystery._

_By the end of that week they had slept together. And so it began._

\--------------

“Earth to Queen: Where did you go?” Caitlin’s voice brought her back to Star City. 

“You never told me why you didn’t like Callum and I never pressed you on it.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like him Fee. I have to admit he was a real charmer and good looking, but he was a smooth-talking bastard with eyes that looked as if they had seen much more than he was ever going to say. He wasn’t secretive exactly but something was going on I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I never had a clear understanding of exactly what he did as a consultant. Did you? I wondered whether he was spinning you a yarn. 

To be totally honest I thought he might whisk my best friend away to his Scottish castle far away from anyone, and you would join the corpses of his other wives in his dungeons.”

Felicity laughed. “Like Bluebeard you mean. Cait you must know that was never going to happen. I had my own dreams and life plan to pursue. With Callum it was pure unadulterated lust. He was good for me, especially after Cooper and he made me feel good about myself...good about who I am as a woman. 

We will always be friends but I never had that ‘love of my life/father of my children’ feelings for him. Not like I had for Oliver from the moment I laid eyes on him. Damn I think I fell in love with his photograph before I’d even met him.”

“You never said any of that back then. It was just that for a time you seemed to be really into Callum and he just wasn’t your type.”

“Oh? What is my type? ”

“Oh you know, brooding and intense billionaires who...talking of the handsome devil himself, here comes the love of your life/father of your children now. Caitlin grinned at Felicity as the sound of a buzzer interrupted their reminiscences. You’d better go let him in.” 

\-----------------

A few hours later, while two members of the team were scouting around the warehouse, the Arrow was on patrol along the roof tops of Star City. He was deep in thought about the session he had witnessed at Caitlin’s apartment.  
He didn't know that at some deep level Felicity doubted him. That he may not be committed to her and Robbie and any additional children they might have. 

She still felt insecure about their relationship even though they were married now. Her biggest fear was that he would leave her. It was a deep-seated visceral fear hinging on her father’s behaviour. Oliver could not think of any circumstances where that would happen. 

They also needed to talk about Laurel and Sara because that was still hanging around for her. 

What hurt him the most was that lingering mistrust of him that she was unwilling to acknowledge even to herself. What he’d said about his life before he met her contained a lie by omission. He was supposed to be on an island for 5 years, yet there were enough clues to indicate that this was not the whole truth. So there was a blank spot around the man she lived with, the father of her child. What exactly was he hiding? 

That whole thing struck terror in Oliver’s heart because she was right. It was not so much that she was right about Lian Yu, he could easily put that right. It was the fact that he was living a lie right now. He had a three year old son with his wife and an eleven year old son with another woman and his wife knew nothing about it.

He’d made a promise to the boy’s mother but had been clear in his own mind that he had to tell Felicity. He had been on the verge of doing so many times but something had held him back. Partly his own cowardice and the longer he left it the harder it got. He should just have told her in the first place and not given credence to Samantha’s wishes. 

He found himself between a rock and a hard place. But suppose their position had been reversed, how would he feel if Felicity had kept something like that from him? 

He had to tell her but did not know how. He needed Caitlin’s advice. It was much too late to call her now. He would deal with it tomorrow. 

Receiving an alert signal from Felicity, Oliver opened his comms set. “Talk to me Overwatch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have posted twice this week and it looks like another chapter could emerge in next 4 days.


	4. Dormant Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Team uncover the awful truth about what's being stored in the warehouse and they call in Amanda Waller. It will be a long night.

On patrol along the roof tops of Star City the Arrow receives an alert signal: “Talk to me Overwatch.”

“Something is happening at that warehouse. Spartan and Arsenal are on their way there now but you are closest."

“On my way.” Oliver ran back to his Ducati and was at the warehouse in 10 minutes. From his hiding place in the shadows he could clearly see men moving their merchandise into the warehouse.

“What’s happening?” Spartan asked emerging from the shadows behind Oliver.

“Looks like delivery time and it’s time to find out what exactly is in the boxes. Could be drugs. Where’s Arsenal?”

“On lookout on the South-East side of the building.”

“I’ve not been able to trace anything” Overwatch was on open Comms, “but there’s a dark van parked just North of where Arrow and Spartan are standing. I am sure it has a false number plate so I cannot trace it. I’ll track the van once it starts to move."

“How many bodies can you identify in the warehouse Overwatch.”

“I see half a dozen. They all have machine guns now. If you enter from East, South and West, you can take them”.

“Roger that”.

The skirmish was short and brutal but one man got away. Arrow and Spartan approached the covered containers. Spartan lifted the tarpaulin and rapidly scanned across several rows of the boxes and barrels. His eyes widened in horror. 

“Everyone out. NOW. Get as far away as you can back to the old Casino on the approach road to the Docks. Go. Go. Go. Overwatch call the Boss."

“Are you sure Spartan. It’s after midnight now. What is it? What shall I say?”

"Tell the Boss to contact the Bigger Boss and tell her to bring a team. I think we have highly toxic chemicals in those containers, of a kind that would be prohibited for storage in a warehouse in the middle of a residential area. Do it now Overwatch."

“I’m on it. Stay on open comms."

The three men assembled at the point suggested by Digg. 

“How did you know by just looking Spartan?” Arsenal was staring wide-eyed at his two team mates.

“In Iraq we were trained to spot the markings on various packages because we knew Assad had chemical weapons which he probably got from the Russians”.

"What the ...what would chemical weapons be doing in Star City” Arsenal asked no one in particular.

“Well we don’t know that for absolute certain and not all the boxes are marked, but I’m not taking any chances.” 

Within twenty-five minutes Amanda Waller’s helicopter appeared and landed close to them. “What’s going on?” Amanda approached them knowing exactly who she was talking to without having to ask.

“We have been tracking some odd activities down here for a few weeks now. There are over 200 boxes and barrels in that warehouse. Some of them carry the specific skull and cross bone signature that I recognise from my experience in Iraq. It’s highly toxic material and not something that should be unsecured and at large in a City. Could be chemical weapons” Arsenal informed her.

“The entire dock and surrounding area will be quarantined until we can check the warehouse thoroughly. I’m afraid you three have to make your way to A.R.G.U.S immediately to be checked out and cleared. Please travel in one vehicle. A team is waiting for you” Amanda informed the three men. “You'll have to wait for about an hour to know whether you get the all clear.

"I'm almost certain there is nothing to be concerned about but I must stick to the strictest protocol. I cannot take a chance that any contamination has occurred through leakage, especially after what you've told me.” 

Amanda Waller raised her arm to signal to the helicopter and pointed to the warehouse. A swarm of what looked like Martians in space gear piled out and headed to the warehouse. Another vanload arrived.

"By the way you will find 5 badly injured men inside, one might be dead. Another got away in an unmarked van” Spartan added.

Amanda Waller turned on her heels “Goodnight and thanks” she said over her shoulder as she walked away from the three men, heading back towards the helicopter. She stopped and turned. “Oh by the way pass my thanks on to Miss Smoak or should I say Overwatch, for her vigilance, she may have just saved the City." 

Arrow and Spartan were unmoved and unperturbed by the throwaway line. Of course she knows. She is Amanda Waller after all. She deliberately referred to Felicity as ‘Miss Smoak’ to make sure they knew that she knew. 

Arsenal gasped. “Well that was sharp and very pointed. Do you think she knows who I am? She sure looks like one badass lady, wouldn’t want to meet her in an alley on a dark night.”

“Careful she doesn’t hear you man, she might eat you alive”. Digg rolled his eyes at Oliver and grinned.

“Did you get all that Overwatch? What’s up at your end?” enquired her husband.

“Yeah I heard. Thanks Amanda. Appreciate it. I tracked the van to some wasteland outside the City and sent the coordinates to Lyla. I expect it will be fired by the time the authorities get there. It’s gonna be a long night then. Goodnight guys, don’t stay up too late" Overwatch quipped knowing that it would be much, much later before she saw her husband.

_____________

“Hi” Oliver greeted his wife as he walked in and found her sitting on the stairs waiting for him, her hands propping up her face. She was wide awake.

“Since you are here I suppose you got the all clear, and not going to die a slow and horrible death. Oliver how did toxic material of a kind normally found in a war zone, and which might be chemical weapons, arrive in Star City and right on our doorstep? That’s not the kind of thing you find for sale on the open market. Only governments manufacture that sort of thing not the petty criminals you caught today.” She looked despondent.

Oliver sat down beside her and put an arm around her. “We'll know more later on today. But good call when you spotted the deliveries at weird times and insisted we monitored it. Amanda is right you might be the only person who has actually not failed the City.” He kissed her cheek. “Come on, let’s go to bed”.

“I’m not sure that I'll be able to close my eyes tonight.”

“Get up Smoak. You’re coming with me.” He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to their bedroom.

“I want to tell you something that will take your mind off chemical weapons" Oliver said once they were settled in bed. "After our various conversations and your session with Caitlin I have decided to talk to her about something which has been bothering me”.

Felicity sat up turned on the light and looked at him. This was a big deal given his attitude to Caitlin’s area of work. “Oh? You are?”

“Umhmmm”  
“Is it treatment for your PTSD? You know she can’t be your therapist Oliver because she is a close friend but I expect she can recommend someone”.

He didn’t want to say anymore because he did not want to open a can of worms he didn't yet know how to deal with. “Well I will speak to her and see what she says.”

Felicity stared quizzically at her husband. There was something he was deliberately not saying. But for him to want to talk to Cait that in itself was a milestone so she wouldn't pry.

“Are you looking into my heart with those laser eyes of yours? Can you see that I love you?" Oliver asked playfully.

“Yes I can”.  
“Well turn the light off and come here, let me show you too”.

Felicity did as she was told. Twenty minutes later after a plentiful amount of moans, groans and whimpers, “turn your back to me.” he whispered. It was time for some more sexual healing.

\-----------------

Before heading off to work the next morning Oliver went into their home office to call Caitlin. He was secretly dreading the conversation.

“Hey Oliver. What’s up?”  
“Hey. Hope this is a good time to call. I needed to talk to you.”  
“What’s wrong, are Felicity and Robbie okay?”  
“What”? Yes, they are fine. I just wanted to know if I could make an appointment to see you?”

“Do you mean for a consultation? Oliver I can’t....”  
“I understand Caitlin but I don’t want a professional...”

“It’s fine Oliver. I’m so sorry. Felicity is my closest friend and you are her husband and I love you both. What I meant to say is of course I will meet with you. It’s just that you said appointment and that sounded formal. What do you need?”

“I'd like your advice on a personal matter that affects me and Felicity”.  
“Does Felicity know about this?”

“Well she knows I want to see you but not what about. In fact she is outside the door right now waiting for me. Are you available on Friday late afternoon or Saturday before 6p.m and can you come to the house because I will be Robbie’s sole carer at that time.”

“Sure. Friday late afternoon at about 5pm or thereabouts would suit me.”  
“Thanks Caitlin, see you then."  
“Bye Oliver”.

“All set” Felicity asked when Oliver stepped out of the office.  
“She will come here on Friday.”

“Good.” She reached up to kiss him. “I don’t know why I waited for you since we are coming home separately tonight, although after the stress of yesterday and late nights/early mornings I’d prefer to be chauffeured to work in a luxury car but you need to go to the Foundry later for a briefing from Lyla. I’ll come home and join in on comms.”

“I have a better idea. Let me chauffeur you in a luxury car. You go to the briefing and I’ll come home. I’ll go to the Foundry with you and pick up my bike which is still there."

“It’s a deal. Let’s go.”

\------------------

Later that day Oliver and Felicity headed to the Foundry where he changed out of work clothes before dashing home to rejoin the team via the Mansion comms. Thea and Roy, Lyla and Digg caught up with and teased each other while waiting for Oliver to buzz in.

With the team assembled Lyla informed them what they found in the warehouse was a nerve agent. 

"It was crude and not up to the standard of the current generation of chemical weapons. Its fingerprint suggested it was probably an early prototype made by the Russians but it could still do a great deal of damage. "Someone obviously managed to procure a quantity of the chemical agent. The stash was well hidden among general pharmaceutical paraphernalia. The puzzle is where did it come from and how did it get into the country and to Star City and for what purpose."

“Well done Felicity for your watchfulness.” Lyla turned to her friend with a partial grin at her half-hearted playful use of Felicity’s codename. “The van was found charred as you suspected and we are chasing several leads at the moment. "The usual suspects include the BRATVA, the Triad and The League of Assassins. There must also be a major player, even several, in Star City and that’s the person or persons of interest that we are really after.

"The guys you left in the warehouse are just stooges; delivery men hired for a one off job, who had no idea that their lives was endangered by what they were transporting. We suspect the one who got away was a bit higher up the food chain because the others had been hired by him and only knew his first name. I suspect it was false. "As you'll appreciate, I can’t tell you a great deal but will pass on as much as I can. I hope you'll let Johnny keep me in touch with any useful info you stumble on”. She looked directly at Felicity."

“Off course Lyla that goes without saying” Oliver responded, “we all want to keep the City safe, this is not a competition, it’s about the safety of not just the City but our own families.”

“Thanks for reminding me Oliver but you know how adamant She Who Must Be Obeyed is with 'need to know' status. She will never say it in so many words but Amanda is more than relieved at your find. Can you imagine if something like that happened on her watch? She’d probably be demoted back to basic security.”

They all laughed. No one could imagine the superior Miss Waller in basic security.

“Well that’s it I need to get home to relieve my baby sitter." Lyla gave her husband a peck on the cheek and headed up the stairs.

“Don’t know how the rest of you feel but I’m certainly not going to wait around for the redoubtable Miss Waller to share anything with us. In fact I feel put out about A.R.G.U.S having sole charge. It was this team who discovered it” Felicity pouted.

“I agree Overwatch”, Oliver’s voice came through the screen. "Spartan will obviously get feedback from Lyla but we should neither wait nor depend on the snippets of information that she will be allowed to share. We should go through all known villians and see who pops. A corrupt Government is obviously involved somewhere... we’ll need to do some crosschecks and see...”

“I’m already on it and...”

“Well of course you are Overwatch" Oliver interrupted his wife. He was grinning. “I was simply giving the rest of the team the heads up. Well I’m going to sign off now and find myself something to eat. There’ll be a glass of wine waiting for my wife if she can tear herself away and come home to her husband.”

“Yeah wifey is on her way big bro, is it just wine you have wait....ow! ow!" Thea yelped as Felicity poked her in the ribs.

“Did that hurt sis...that was for your obsessive interest in my sex life” observed her big brother.

“Ew Ollie. No. Come on Roy, we need to leave now. Let’s go get something to eat. You need anything Digg?”

“No, I’m good thanks.”

“Since there’s nothing else to see or do here, I’m off Digg. Call us on Comms if you need to. I need to pack and kiss my husband goodbye before heading off to Vegas tomorrow."

“Thanks Felicity, I get it but it’s just a little too much information. You’re as bad as Thea.” Digg scowled at her waving her away. “Goodnight Felicity”.

She grinned at him “Nite Digg.”

\-------------

Oliver was laying on their bed watching Felicity. She had his shirt on and was throwing a change of clothes into a carry-on bag for her trip to Vegas. He hated it when she was away even for one night. “I’m missing you already. But Thea is having Robbie from Sunday mid morning, so I shall have you all to myself for a while. I plan to take Robbie and JJ to the Aquarium on Saturday morning and we can pick you up from the airport late afternoon.” 

“That would be nice. She smiled at him. Spending a little time with mom will take my mind off the nightmare that’s unfolded on our doorstep.”

“Don’t say anything to Donna. You know it takes very little to freak her out.”

“I know Oliver, I lived with her remember?”

“Oh yeah, I completely forgot that” he grinned as he lunged across the bed and pulled her down on top of him. "I want to make passionate love to my wife before she disappears on me" he mumbled against her lips. 

"That’s good Mr Queen because I want to make love to my husband." She pressed her lips to his, opening her mouth and sighing quietly when her tongue met his. Oliver slipped his arms around her waist to pull her even closer and deepened the kiss.

He was in teasing mode. He wanted to prolong the play until she was panting and begging him. It was time to get a little of his own back on little minx. Slowly he unbuttoned her shirt, his shirt. He took his time and kissed every inch of skin exposed as he went down the line of buttons. She had no bra on, only panties. She lay still watching him with an amused expression on her face.

He reached up and kissed her lips while his hand travelled up the inside of her thigh, a finger slipping up the side of her panties lightly brushing her clit before stroking her folds. She bit down on her bottom lip, moaned, arched her back and grabbed on to his hair. Felicity’s reaction was all he had hoped for. He sucked on her upper lip and nibbled the bottom one, her mouth slightly opened and his tongue slid inside. His finger kept stroking her folds.

He pushed her panties very slowly down her thighs and reached down to remove them completely. His fingers slowly slid back up her thighs until they reached her clit where they started to draw little circles. 

Felicity moaned again. “Oliver,” she breathed. Her hips started moving to increase the pressure of his fingers and to give her even more pleasure.

As the pleasure began to build deep inside her, Oliver moved his fingers to undo the one remaining button taking his own sweet time as he slowly kissed her stomach, drawing little circles with his tongue. He took his fingers back to her entrance teasing her, without penetration. He kissed the side of her neck then her cheek, her eyes, her forehead and back down to her neck. He bit down lightly on her ear lobe, pulling it between his lips and letting his tongue play with the soft skin.

Felicity was panting hard. She wanted him inside of her now. Oliver slid two of his fingers inside her making her back arch. "Oliver, please" she moaned.

"What baby girl, what do you need? Tell me." Oliver moved his fingers gently, slowly pulling them in and out, stroking her hot wetness while nibbling at her neck biting her lightly. Her moans came more loudly. Her eyes closed. 

He took both her wrists and held them above her head, then whipped a silk scarf from beneath his pillow. Before Felicity realised what was happening he had deftly tied her wrists to the bed. She stared up at him, her mouth forming a perfect O. He reached down and pushed his tongue into mouth seeking hers and sucked on it. He kissed her deeply before whispering in her ear...“okay? ” She nodded.

He lifted his head and smiled down before his lips closed around one nipple while his finger and thumb rolled the other. Felicity whimpered and moaned, her eyes beseeched him when he stopped and looked up at her. He gave her an evil grin “I can’t hear you baby, what did you say?"  
"I want you to touch me"  
"Where?"  
"You know where. Oliver, please baby, this is torture."

He moved back from her and slowly stripped his clothes off, then went on his knees astride her upper body and began to stroke his hardened cock right in front of her face. He held himself and grazed the tip of his cock against her lips. Felicity opened her mouth to take him inside and began to suck him greedily. Oliver placed both hands against the bed head and savoured the silken feel of her mouth around him. He began to slowly fuck her mouth but pulled out after a few thrusts. He was not yet ready.

He moved down the bed and pushed her thighs apart and crouched between them, his eyes directly in line with her sex. She was completely exposed to his devouring eyes. Now totally aroused, Felicity started to wind her hips and moved them up and down. His mouth opened on her body and he used lips tongue and teeth to tease her mercilessly while pushing one finger into her body and pumping her hard.

Felicity cried out and writhed in pleasure. She wanted more. "Oliver" she breathed. "Please, baby please. Oh please Oliver, I’m begging you."  
“What baby? Tell me what you need.”  
“I need you inside me, please baby, it’s time now”.

He looked up grinning with satisfaction. Don’t be such an impatient baby girl, just relax and enjoy. He deliberately used the same words she had said to him the previous week when little minx had turned him to pulp. Without warning Oliver pushed his throbbing cock into her heat and thrust in and out several times before withdrawing again. Felicity thrashed about and began to moan as if in pain. He reached up to make shushing noises against her lips while stroking her folds purposefully.

He pushed an arm under her neck and that hand closed on her breast massaging and pinching her nipple lightly, while his mouth clamped on the other alternating between swirling his tongue around her nub and sucking deeply. Three fingers entered her and pumped her hard and fast.

Helpless to do anything but totally surrender to the intense sensation from multiple sites drove Felicity wild. She bucked and weaved beside him, her head moving from side to side. "Shhhhh" he whispered in her ear, "easy baby girl, easy."

Her moans were now low and continuous beneath his onslaught. When her walls tightened around his fingers he pressed his thumb down on her clit. It was all that she needed to be pushed over the edge. She stopped breathing and her body started to tremble. Her mouth opened in a silent cry as her pleasure washed over her. He kept stroking her until she came down from her high. She turned to look at him. “You are the evilest husband I’ve ever known.”  
“I know” he said softly, kissing her while untying her wrist. 

He gathered her in his arms, and they rested for a while before Felicity slipped one hand down his chest and over his rippled abs till her finger tips reached his rock hard cock. He moaned when she started to pump him. His head fell back, and his eyes closed as he took pleasure from her ministrations. He was brimming with desire for her.  
“Felicity,” he breathed, moving one hand up her spine to wind a hand in her hair, pulling her close so he could nibble her ear lobe. “Please, you need to stop” he whispered.

She got up on her knees and straddled him guiding his erection to her entrance. Looking deep into his eyes she was mesmerized by the lust and desire blazing out at her. She slowly slid down his cock, taking in the fullness of him. She started to move slowly, gradually gathering pace. Her head fell back and she placed both palms on his chest. Oliver placed his hands on her hips and moved with her as she rocked his world. He wallowed in the intense pleasure she was giving him. He could never get enough of her. 

Seeking to deepen their experience Oliver tightened this grip on her hips, stilling her movements while pushing up just a little harder. The first stroke made her moan, the second earned him a high-pitched scream. “Felicity,” he moaned letting her know that he was close. 

“Oliver,” she whispered and laid her forehead against his. 

The third upward stroke was hard and unexpected. She gasped and her body trembled; her limbs lost all tension as her orgasm washed over her. It was only then that Oliver gave way to his own pleasure. He moaned, his eyes screwing shut as he spilled his seed inside her hot core. “I love you baby girl.” She kissed him and collapsed on top of him. 

In time they got up for a quick shower and went another round before Morpheus claimed them.

\---------------

Somewhere across the City, two burner phones were transmitting. An extremely irate voice spoke:

_Voice 1: I’ve got a bloody fiasco on my hands. My guys managed to fuck up so badly almost all of some merchandise vital to my plans has gone. I need you to move up your end of the operation._

_Voice 2: What’s happened? Voice 1: What has happened is on a strict need to know basis. I need you to take care of your side of the operation. We are mounting a multi-pronged attack to be executed simultaneously._

_Voice 2: After the years already spent in planning and preparing for phase one, we should be as meticulous and patient in preparation for execution of phase two._

_Voice 1: Some damn Government agency is sniffing around and I’m running out of time. I only have another 12 months and will probably have to fight harder this time, although I do have a contingency plan in mind in case of a negative outcome. I will consider your advice but keep me updated on progress at your end._

__

_Voice 2: I don’t want to push too far too quickly and blow it all up at my end, then everyone will be on their guard, and it will sure alert my target._

____

_Voice 1: Fine. I will be patient for a while longer. The phone clicked off._

_____ _

_The owner of voice 2 was feeling extremely agitated. He reviewed his plans in his mind before settling down to get some rest, since sleep mostly eluded him. It was time to contact the target again. He had to handle this with great care._

_____ _


	5. Significant Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations between Oliver and Walter, Oliver and Caitlin, Felicity and Donna. At least one of these conversations will have major repercussions in the life of the Queens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected leisurely Easter monday and time to complete another chapter for posting...enjoy

Oliver sauntered along to Walter Steele’s office, tapped on his opened office door and walked in. “Hey step-father are you ready for our meeting?” If they were alone Oliver often teased Walter by using that moniker.

Walter responded in the same vein. “And good morning to you too son, come in. Sit.” Walter waved his hand in the direction of a couple of two-seater sofas with a coffee table in between.

Oliver sat with his arms spread along the back of the seat. He was jacket-less, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up his forearm. “By the way the Defense Department called earlier to offer us a couple of dates for our meeting with them in DC.  
They asked that we get back to them as soon as possible. Apparently the Defense Secretary herself will be present for part of the time. The first date is next week. My EA is coordinating and has been in touch with your Assistant and Felicity’s. I hope we can confirm something by the close of business today".

Walter joined Oliver, sitting down on the other side of the coffee table. “Did they give you any indication of their thinking one way or the other?”

“No. Would they ever? These guys play their cards close to their chest but if the Defense Secretary is going be present that’s a sure sign it’s beyond mere interest. They want to keep the numbers on their side limited to Bob Carmichael, Lisa Hamilton’s Chief of Staff and the five heads of the main divisions of the military. They will involve other relevant agencies at a later stage."

“Do you realise Oliver if we pull this off it will put QC easily into the FTSE/Dow Jones bracket of global companies."

"I know Walter, Felicity and I have talked about it. It’s easy to have business meetings when you share a bed with one of the Company’s VPs.”

“Walter laughed. I know Oliver I’ve been there. Perhaps you've forgotten step-son!”

Oliver grinned at him. “That was another life and another time but here we are always step-father and son – but never mind the ‘step’.” In his more mischievous moments Oliver delighted in introducing the tall urbane black man to complete strangers as his father. 

Walter would ramp up the game by extending his hand with a 'How do you do' in an ultra Oxbridge accent. Oliver had to turn his face away to compose himself. But he was unable to control the twitch of his lips and the dimples joining in. Of course it quickly emerged that Walter was in fact Moira Queen’s second husband. Oliver laughed out loud at the memory of those times.

“What’s tickled you?” Walter smiled benignly at him as Oliver shared his musings. He loved the Queen siblings as if they were his own flesh and blood.

“Before heading down to DC the inner team should have a pre-meeting about presentation. Felicity and Curtis will obviously take the lead on that and I guess you and I will be the guinea pigs for the demonstration as usual."

Oliver nodded. “It might make more of an impact if someone on the other side participated in the demonstration with one of us, that won’t give anything away and I’d go for Hamilton’s Chief of Staff. I suggest you do the demonstration with him while I observe their reaction.”

“Good. I’m happy with that, unless they have their own nominee. “Now turning to the joint CEO proposal”, Walter moved on to the next item for discussion, “the Board has approved in principle. Have you had any further thoughts?”

“I'm excited about this Walter, it will strengthen the Company. I don’t know why I didn’t put the proposal to you before. You have specific competencies that I don’t have and a forensic appreciation for the financial side of things and experience of all things HR so you take the lead on those.

I will take on all the basic tech stuff, Government and public affairs, promotions/marketing including corporate social responsibility. We can share overseas subsidiaries and Applied Sciences, the jewel in the QC crown.” Oliver was genuinely relaxed about the division of labour. He trusted Walter totally. 

“Exactly the division I was thinking of Oliver. Great minds think alike" he grinned at the younger man. "That will work well and give us both more time to be well on top of our various brief and to spend more quality time with our families. 

"QC has done so well since we wrested the Company back from Isabel Rochev and Stellmore International. Still I was sorry to hear of her untimely demise”.

Oliver wanted to laugh out loud. He was always tickled by Walter’s quaint British way of expressing himself sometimes. He suspected Walter knew about his alter ego ever since he had been rescued from Merlyn’s henchmen but scrupulously maintained boundaries.

“Robert and Moira would be so proud of how much their son contributes to making Star City a place where people want to live and do business.” Walter's expression was inscrutable. 

Oliver was now certain that Walter knew he was ‘the hood guy’ who had burst into that despicable hole where he was held prisoner and rescued him. “Thank you Walter I really appreciate you saying that. I will always regard you as family. I hope you know that especially since your granddaughter and my son seem to be already betrothed."

They both laughed.

“Can I leave you to sort out the formalities for our new joint venture? The Board is already on board as it were, it only requires their formal ratification. We'll arrange a meeting to inform the staff and put out a press release. I'll set that up." Oliver stood up stretched out his hand to Walter.

“Oh by the way talking of quality time, Felicity and I want to fix a date with you and Sandra. Why don’t you suggest a couple of evenings that suit you and we can hang out either at the Mansion or that new very expensive restaurant in town. Are you two serious? You’ve been together for two years now.”

“I don’t know Oliver. After Moira’s death I thought seriously about returning to England to be closer to family. But then I met Sandra. I think she likes the relationship just as it is for now, and so do I. I really don't see myself as a serial husband. And it's too soon after Moira passed to think in that way again"...Walter's voice trailed off. He really cared for Moira but could not live with her betrayal. He was not sure that he would ever be ready for a third wife.

Oliver's own thoughts followed Walter's, he somehow knew that the man beside him was thinking about how Moira had colluded with Malcolm Merlyn and allowed her first husband to die and her second to suffer at the hands of a slightly deranged man.

Walter pulled himself back to the present. "It would be good for the four of us to spend time together. I'll talk to Sandra tonight and one of us will get back to you or Felicity.”

“Good." Oliver smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder. "If I don’t see you later, have a great weekend.”

“You too son.” They grinned at each other.

__________

Robbie and Oliver accompanied by Robbie’s friend Sam who was at the mansion for a sleepover were on their way back after taking Felicity to the airport.

Oliver felt the anxiety knocking around his chest at the thought of his conversation with Caitlin. Beyond that he wanted to catapult into the future where he knows that everything was fine with Felicity and he was no longer living on the edge of a precipice.

Caitlin arrived at the Mansion just before 5p.m. “Hey” Oliver greeted her. "Come on in.”  
“Hey Oliver, it’s a gorgeous afternoon.”  
“Yes, I thought we’d sit in the garden. Can I offer you something to drink? Wine? Juice? Water?"  
“Juice would be great with lots of ice”.

“Why don’t you join Robbie and his friend Sam. They are in the playground. We can sit and watch them and talk. I’ll just get the drinks.”

“Okay Oliver” Caitlin said once they were settled “what’s up.”

“Honestly, Caitlin I don’t know where to start, so I’m just going to ramble. Please just jump in wherever you wish to.” Caitlin nodded encouragingly.

"Something happened a long time ago, before I was on the Island. In those days, I was young, stupid and extremely immature and it was left to my parents to clear up my messes. Anyway on this occasion my mother step in deal with yet another mess but basically lied to me, or omitted to tell me the truth about how she had intervened. Over ten years later I inadvertently uncovered the secret and lie that had been concealed from me. 

"Unfortunately I’ve colluded with the secret and the lie for the last 6 months. In a way, I was coerced into keeping all this from Felicity. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to make an excuse for basically taking the coward’s way out by not look at what was really important to me and taking appropriate action. Now it's reached a point where I simply can't avoid telling Felicity because it's killing me. The other out I give myself for not doing it, is that the time is never right."

“Did your observation of Felicity’s session the other night push you to have this conversation?"

“Yes it did”. Oliver looked drawn and tired.

Caitlin put a hand on his shoulder, “Breathe Oliver. I’m sure there is a way through this. Whatever this is it must have caused you immense anxiety. I’m also aware you are unable to tell me what it is because you have not told Felicity.”

Oliver looked at her nodding despondently. “Caitlin you are the only person I can turn to. I know how much you love Felicity and have her best interest at at heart.”

"I care about you too Oliver and have both your interests at heart. But I’m not sure what you are asking me or how I can help."

“This may sound really silly to you but I don’t know how to tell Felicity. I'm not good with words around her. It has always baffled me why she choose to be with me, given how damaged I was, and still am. I clam up and find it hard to express what is in my heart. Honestly, the other day I quoted the words of a love song to her. Can you believe that."

Caitlin laughed. Really? Which one? It's quite romantic though...I think"  
“No, we won’t go there. I’m sure Felicity will tell you sometime”. 

"Look Oliver, you were brilliant just now telling me very concisely what the issue was. In a way there was a beginning, middle and an end. You told me a story. Do exactly that with her. Just relax and tell her the story, just like you told me obviously with more detail. Fee loves you to distraction and you have the kind of relationship that most people can only dream about, and probably won’t find in a lifetime. She knows that and will not respond in a rash manner.  
"Having said that, I hope that whatever you have to tell her will not play into her insecurities and abandonment issues. It's a kind of reflex action with her motivated by the constant thought that her dad left because she was not good enough. Fee knows better than that now but old habits die hard. Oliver it's important that you keep that in mind and allow her space to 'act out'." 

The blood drained from Oliver’s face. He knew that and it caused palpitations. "Do you think she might run Caitlin, she has a tendency to do that, at least to turn away from me. If she left I don’t know how I would cope with that."

“She's not going to leave Oliver. Felicity has changed a lot since you guys had Robbie. The session you observed is testament to her growth and her wanting your relationship to stay strong and secure. It's important you give her space to deal with whatever she needs to and not pressure her to be something or say something right away. You should know your wife by now. She takes in information, sorts it into her little boxes in her head before she makes a response."

“I know. I have no choice but to give her space.”  
Caitlin gave Oliver a hug. It’ll work out, you’ll see."

“Thanks Cait. This has been so helpful, I feel lighter. Felicity is so lucky to have you in her corner.”

"Anytime my dear friend and I’m here for you both. I’d better be heading out. I have a hot date tonight."

Oliver walked her out, still thanking her profusely for her care and support.

\-------------

Felicity arrived in Vegas and take took a cab to Donna’s. She was not particularly looking forward to the next few hours.

Donna Smoak greeted her daughter effusively on the doorstep and ushered her in the house. “Come let me take a good look at my baby girl”.

Felicity kissed her mother warmly and laughed. “What?” Donna enquired.

“Do you know you’ve got Oliver on this baby girl thing. He calls me that all the time. I call him baby boy in retaliation but it just rolls off his back.

“I love your Oliver, he is so good for you. You are good for each other. And how is my grandson. I need to visit soon again before he gets too big for hugs and kisses from his Nana. Come on take your things to your room, then we can eat.”

After they had eaten and cleared away, Felicity pinned her mother down. Come on mom we have to talk. I met with Noah a few days ago.  
“When? Where? Did he come to your house? What did he say?

“He was sitting in that Starbucks close to Queen Consolidated where I usually get my coffee in the mornings. He was waiting for me. Later that day I met him for 15 minutes and I asked him why he’d left us. He told me to ask you mom.

“So you think he came to Star City to find you. I don’t like it Felicity, I don’t like it one bit.”

You need to tell me what happened all those years ago and why even now you are still angry and upset."

“Your dad and I met at the casino where I worked. He was charming and attentive and I was immediately smitten. We got married and you came along. I’ve told you this before. Your father was head and shoulders above his contemporaries in the technology field and could have made a name for himself, but his downfall was gambling. He was not just an everyday gambler; he was a high roller and could lose thousands of pounds, and I mean in multiples of ten.  
As he got deeper in I realised that he was getting really seriously into debt and was doing illegal things for his creditors as his payment. There were these late night surreptitious conversations and he would disappear for days at a time. Well, in the end I couldn’t take any more and asked him to leave. And I really have not seen him or been in contact until you rang this week to say he was in Star City."

Felicity watched her mother. Her small frame was hunched over and she was staring straight ahead with unseeing eyes. Felicity could see the utter dejection and defeat in the slump of her shoulders, the tears running down her cheeks. 

Felicity got up and knelt in front of her mother, wrapped her arms round Donna and stroked her back, crying with her. "You were really scared then mom. You are scared now. You were trying to protect me weren't you? I'm sure of that now." Oh mom I'm so so sorry."

Donna stared at her, her tear ducts filled with fluid ready to spill. She put her arms around her daughter and said nothing. What are you not telling me mom? What is it, tell me." Her mother shook her head mutely.

"I know mom, I remembered only this week after Noah showed up in Star City. I remember those men turning up and you told me to hide in the cupboard under the stairs. Did they threaten you before? Were you protecting me then?"

A low sound like an injured animal moan came from Donna’s throat and she began to rock back and forth. Felicity held her tightly. "What is it mom."  
“I saw one of them recently” Donna stuttered.  
"What? Who did you see, one of the men who came to our house? Where?"

"Yes. I saw him in Star City when I was last down there, except he has changed his appearance from what I remember but it’s him. I recognised him.

"Who mom, who was it that you recognised?"  
"It was that Darkh man."  
"What dark man, you mean Walter? Oh mom that’s just...."

"Don’t be silly Felicity, I’m not talking about skin color. I know Walter, Oliver’s step-father. Of course it’s not him. I’m talking about Damien Darkh, your mayor."

"Oh my god. Mom are you sure, are you absolutely certain."

"Yes Felicity. I‘m not a fool. I recognised that man. His hair has been dyed that horrible pale colour but that’s the man who came to my house twice to threaten me. Why do you think I didn’t want to go with you and Oliver to the Mayor’s Charity event the last time I was in Star City? When you rang me to ask questions about your dad and told me he was in Star City, I thought Darkh might have made contact with you. I am sure he knows you are Noah’s daughter."

Felicity’s brain was whirring, churning out computations as fast as any computer. She felt cold. Unease seeped through her body. Here was an important piece of the puzzle. Why was Noah in Star City, a place where the man who had been pursuing him was mayor? 

Felicity felt sick. All her misgivings about her dad rushed back. "Mom why did't you tell me this before?"

"I was trying to protect you baby girl, the less you know about this the better. I didn’t realise you remembered those men coming to the house. You were still so young, and didn't raise it again since that day. I hoped you’d forgotten."

"I swear to god mom, you and Oliver are blood relations. Those are his sentiments exactly. He keeps all these secrets in the mistaken belief that he is protecting his family. But it does not work like that. In fact it puts us in more danger. It makes us more vulnerable. Do you understand?"

Donna nodded mutely. She was actually totally confused.

"Look mom I need to get back to Star City. I am going to get myself on the first flight out in the morning. Will you be okay?"

"Of course sweetheart, I understand. You have to do what you need to. But please, if your father is in Star City where that man is mayor you and Oliver need to be careful."

"I think we both need a stiff drink, what do you have?"  
"Look in the cabinet, I’ll have whatever you’re having."

Felicity grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and poured out double shots. The two women sat talking and consoling each other for several hours before going to their rooms. Felicity immediately texted Oliver who she knew would be awake or sleeping with one eye opened.

FS-Q: On first flight back in the morning.  
OQ: Why had row with mama S?  
FS-Q: No. We’re ok/I’m ok. Will get cab from airport.  
OQ: Ok. Miss you. love you.  
FS-Q: XOX

Felicity hardly slept. Her mind was churning. Was her father in league with Darkh? She had never taken to the Mayor. His nature seemed as dark as his name. Is it possible that he had something to do with that nerve gas in that warehouse and if so what had he intended to do with it? It could only be to harm the City. She had to get back to Robbie and Oliver immediately.

Felicity was up and ready to go before her mother stirred. She left a note and headed back to her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter life begins to shift quite dramatically for the Queens as the darkness reaches out to touch them. Alas it also means the time is not right for Oliver to tell Felicity what he needs to.


	6. Faulty Trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity brings Oliver up to date and he checks in with Anatoli. Felicity makes a call she’d hoped never to do and the Queen household is disturbed in the middle of the night.

As Felicity’s cab pulled up at the outer gate to the Mansion the mailman was standing there about to press the intercom. He was holding a large box about 4ftx4ft.

“Hi” Felicity greeted him, stepping out of the cab “can I take that for you?”

“Oh good morning Mrs Queen, thank you. It looks bulky but it’s not heavy and has a handle.” Felicity thanked the man and used her electronic key to open the gates to the mansion.

“Hi”, she greeted Oliver who was in the kitchen with Robbie. She gave them both a kiss and a hug. “I’ve just picked this up at the gate. I wonder who it’s from?”

“Is it a present for me mama?”

“Maybe but it’s addressed to mama.”

Oliver took a knife and opened the box and pulled out something wrapped in soft white paper. It was a large toy zebra.

Robbie squealed and jumped out of his chair, grabbed the toy that was bigger than he was and hugged it. "It's Zed, it's Zed in Zoo Lane Daddy. I love Zed." The small boy went off engrossed it his new toy dragging it behind him.

“Who is it from Oliver, is there a card?”

“There’s an envelope addressed to you” he handed it to her.

Felicity took a card out of the envelope and read the words aloud. ‘My dear Fee, sorry I had to leave the City on business for a few days but will call your office when I’m back. The enclosed gift is for Robbie. I hope I get an opportunity to meet my grandson when I’m back’.

Oliver stared at Felicity who shrugged her shoulder.

“I’ve so much to tell you after my conversation with mom. The Aquarium is as good a place to talk as any. I’ll just get changed."

On the entire journey to pick JJ up the Queens listened to their son talk animatedly about he's new toy and his friends in Zoo Lane. Robbie liked Georgina too but she was a girl giraffe and he loved Zed best. Zed was propped up in the seat next to him.

Felicity was desperate to get to the Aquarium to share her worst fears with Oliver. As soon as they were ensconced in a corner seat in the dolphin enclosure away from other people but from where they could keep an eye on son and godson, Felicity relayed the conversation with her mother.

“There was little I could do on my tablet to check out Darhk but I will know more once I can get to my equipment in the basement. Oliver I have a horrible sense of foreboding in the pit of stomach. I’m sure he is the person of interest Lyla mentioned. Suppose he is involved with that nerve gas, his only intention would be to harm the City”.

“I don’t like your forebodings they always turn out to be accurate. When we take JJ home we’ll talk to Digg and Lyla. I’ll also put in a call to Anatoli. If anyone knows what’s going down the Bratva Pakhan does.”

“But Lyla said Bratva was on their list of suspects.”

“True but by now they will know that the nerve agent has been found and if so then I would probably know about it. Either way it doesn’t matter.” 

Felicity nodded. “With all this uncertainty, I don’t want us to leave our son alone anywhere we don’t have eyes on him, and I am not sure it’s a good idea for both of us to go to Washington DC next week. I want Digg to hire someone who will keep an eye on him at nursery school until this whole thing is over however long it takes.”

Oliver looked at her with concern. "I can hear how much this has spooked you but we must go to DC Felicity. The Defense Secretary will be attending and this is important for the Company, our reputation, for you.”

“I know Oliver but I’m scared.”

“It’ll be fine Felicity. We will just be gone for the day. We’ll tell Raisa not to let Robbie out of her sight, even in the house. We’ll put a security watch on the house and I’ll have a quiet word with Quentin. No one in their right minds will try and break into our home in the middle of the day”. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her head. “It’ll be fine.”

Back at the Mansion Oliver took his burner phone and checked the battery. He went to a secluded spot in the garden but from where he could observe everything without being seen. He tapped out a code.

“Oliver my boy, how is the honorary American Kapitan doing these days. It’s a long time since I’ve heard from you. How is that lovely wife of yours and your little boy?"

"We're fine Anatoli. How are you?"

“What can I do for you Oliver?” Anatoli’s tone was bordering on cold.

The Bratva had not forgiven him for breaking their sacred code when he wanted information on Slade Wilson, although his relationship with the Pakhan had been repaired somewhat during his last visit to Russia.

“The authorities found some nerve gas in a warehouse in the City a few days ago. Do you know anything about that?”

“Are you asking if Bratva was involved?”  
“Well yes I am, but I’m more interested in anyone in Star City who might be involved.”  
“Do you have anyone in mind?”  
“No not really but..."

“You were never a good liar Oliver. I can confirm your thoughts and will tell you that someone who betrayed Bratva is also involved. There you are Oliver, you get two for one. That’s all I will say. Goodbye my boy."

“Anatoli I....” The line had gone dead.

Felicity might be right and who is the second person, it had to be Noah. He’d have to tell her.

\--------------------

Later that night a burner phone channel outside of Star City pinged on another inside of Star City.

_Voice 1: This is well short of two weeks so I assume you have good news._

_Voice 2: I have primed the stage as you said. All it needs is activation and I can do that whenever you’re ready. The bad news is I picked up a tail two days ago and had to leave the City pretty quickly._

_Voice 1: Good. I can execute the next step probably in the next 24hrs. I’ll be in touch._

\------------------------

Oliver and Felicity were awake by dawn engaging in what husbands and wives do: pillow talk.

“I talked with Anatoli. He told me the Bratva was not involved. He mentioned no names but confirmed that there were two people in Star City, including someone who had betrayed Bratva.”

"I'm sure my dad is in league with Darhk and I’d bet he has not left the City on business.”

“What’s your thinking?” 

“Not sure. There’s nothing much on Darhk yet but he only moved to Star City about the time you returned from the Island and in just over six years, he is already Mayor. Something not kosher about that. There’s so much more to this than meets the eye.” 

“Do you really think our son is in danger from his own grandfather Felicity?”

“Don’t trust him or anyone he associates with. I’ve never warmed to Darhk. His weird white hair and almost transparent pale blue eyes freaks me out. He looks as if he’s just stepped out of a horror show. I’m following my gut instinct on this one Oliver. We’re not taking any chances."

Oliver kissed her. “I’m with you in this honey. Digg will find a bodyguard for Robbie at nursery school and at the Mansion until one of us gets home until all this is laid to rest.” 

“I talked to Thea and explained the situation. They will pick Robbie up about 10a.m this morning and will meet us at the Foundry at about 6p.m.” 

“Good, that will give us time to check in with Digg and Lyla who I’m sure has already tipped off She Who Must Be Obeyed and may have more information to share by then.”

“Yep. And I can put more traces on Darhk. If I get stuck I want to put in a call to someone I know who might be able to tell us more about Darhk."

“Oh? More than A.R.G.U.S?”

“I don’t know. We’ll wait and see what A.R.G.U.S comes up with.”

“So who is this person?”

“Someone I met around the time of Cooper’s trial. He was into all this national security stuff”. 

Oliver raised an eyebrow but said nothing more. “I want to explore a Sunday market just beyond where Tommy and Laurel lives, buy some fresh produce and ingredients for my juices. And take my wife to lunch.”

“Talking about Tommy and Laurel....” 

“No. No more talking...I want to do things to my wife.” Oliver got on top of Felicity and nipped her lower lip. They had time before Robbie woke up.

\---------------------

“Hey, sorry I’m late” Digg said entering the Foundry later than expected. “Lyla can’t make it.”

Felicity and Oliver looked at him expectantly. “What do we know?” Oliver enquired. 

"Apparently the FBI has been tracking Noah Kuttler for some time."

“Oh my god” exclaimed Felicity looking wide-eyed at Oliver. "I knew he hadn’t just left the City. Did she say why the FBI was after him? That means he is a criminal, a fugitive." 

“He told me he wanted to be in my life. He was lying. Oliver what does this all mean?”

He held her “shhh shhh”. We’ll try and figure it out later. Let Digg finish.” 

“Felicity I know nothing more than I’m telling you. All I know is Noah is on the no-fly list plus ports are being monitored.  
For their own reasons, the FBI is not ready to move in on Darkh who has connections with several rogue governments. Apparently they are watching him openly. I suppose they’re trying to spook him into doing something stupid. I don’t know. That’s all Lyla could tell me.” 

“Well it’s a relief to know that someone is on top of this, but it doesn’t give us a great deal of information on what Darkh is actually up to and with whom, unless...” Oliver looked at Felicity “unless Felicity can get us a lead.”

Digg looked at Felicity “Did one of your traces pick something up?”  
“No, not yet but I may have a contact who may be able to help”.

Digg raised an eyebrow and looked at Oliver who simply shrugged.

“I’ll have to make a phone call” she informed them “he’s a consultant working with Government agencies and could be anywhere in the world.”

Oliver had questions but kept his mouth shut. She would tell him at some point. Roy and Thea arrived with Robbie soon after and the Queens took their son home to bed.

\------------------

**Boston seven years ago**

_Callum McTaggart had become her lover by the end of that first week of their meeting. She’d spent almost all her free time with him. During the passionate six months they spent together Felicity Smoak became a sexually liberated woman. Callum taught her what he called the art of love-making._

_As a lover he was generous, indulgent and insatiable. He taught her how to use her fingers, tongue and body as a whole to pleasure her partner. For Callum love-making was like a culinary feast, all the senses had to be engaged and heightened. There was a first course – the appetiser as he called it, followed by the main meal and then desert. Time should be taken to savour the meal. Nothing rushed._

_He introduced her to a myriad of sexual paraphernalia, his toys, designed to heighten and prolong sexual pleasure. He told her that the dominant and submissive roles in the bedroom should be interchangeable and nothing should be off limits if both parties agreed._

_But sex was about intense pleasure, never pain, although a modicum of pain could enhance the pleasure if the partners agreed._

_Felicity was an eager student and a side of her she never knew existed responded eagerly to Callum’s tutoring. She experienced a high so deep that for the first time she understood why the word ‘bliss’ was associated with sex._

_Callum encouraged her to take a dominant role in the sex act and to revel in how the feminine’s response to the masculine could subtly exert influence and control in the bedroom. “From the beginning of time" he told her “women understood how to use their sexuality, not in a negative sense, but from the knowledge that lovemaking was so much more than that singular act of fucking.”_

_He constantly told her she was a glorious, exciting and beautiful woman and should not be ashamed to let her body be seen and worshipped. For the first time Felicity was able to experience her power as a sexual woman and to be unashamed of her body._

_She’d learnt some more about Callum. His family lived in a castle in the Scottish Highlands and he was heir to the current Laird of the MacTaggart Clan, his father. The family also had a home on one of the more remote islands of the Outer Hebrides, where he stayed whenever he was at home._

_He wanted to show her Scotland one day. In his view it was the most beautiful of the four very different regions that formed the United Kingdom._

_When he graduated from university he had gone to work for the British Foreign & Commonwealth Office in London and his skills-set was used by various European and sometimes North American agencies._

_“So I was right. You are a spy.”_

_“If you think that everyone working in the foreign and diplomatic service is a spy, then I am. Heck that makes everyone who works in the US State Department a spy, including the cleaners."_

_“Yeah. But isn’t the cleaner part of spy terminology?”_

_He tickled her. “You’ve been watching too many movies.”_

_"Okay, stop. You’ve made your point” she giggled. But what exactly is your skill-set?”_

_“Well I graduated with a First Class Double Honours Degree in Russian and Arabic. I also speak a number of European languages and I understand and can get by in Mandarin. I guess I have an ear for languages and an affinity for forcing weird sounds through my vocal chords. So that makes me a valuable asset to my employers”._

_“But what...”_

_"That is all I’m going to say Mavournin" (the Gaelic term of endearment meaning ‘darling’ that he always used for her). He had kissed her then and his lips and fingers made her forget whatever it was she was going to ask him._

_When the relationship came to its natural end because his assignment in Boston was concluded, they knew that their six months together was what it was, nothing more, and nothing less. Neither had considered it long-term nor had any expectations. It was an interlude in their lives. They each had other lives, other paths to follows._

_On the day of his departure Callum had given her a number on which she could contact him day or night if at any time in the future she felt it necessary to do so. It was an answering service that would relay information to him anywhere in the world._

_They both knew without saying that if the number was ever used, it would probably be a matter of life and death. It was clear to Felicity he was offering his protection if she ever needed it. She hoped she never would._

Now she did. At least he might have critical information which would help protect her family, those she loved and her City. Felicity went into their home office and searched in the small wooden box where she kept miscellaneous mementos of one kind or another. 

She found the code and number Callum had given her seven years ago and dialled. A recorded answer service responded: 

Please leave your message caller.

"Boston is covered in smoke” she left the pre-arranged message and hung up.

She tapped on her cell distractedly. Now she would wait for him to make contact.

_\-----------------_

__

During the night long after Felicity and Oliver had gone to bed, a piercing scream catapulted Oliver out of the bed and running towards his son’s bedroom. Oliver’s programmed responses kicked in and he was acting purely on primal instinct. He reached Robbie’s room in less than six seconds and switched on the light.

__

His son was screaming. “Monster daddy, it’s a monster.” Oliver took up his son and handed him to his mother who was just entering the room. Felicity took Robbie and pressed him to her chest, hushing him, doing her best to calm him. She walked him back to their bedroom.

__

Oliver checked out Robbie’s room. The windows were secure and there appeared to be nothing untoward. He glanced over at the pile of toys and looked under the bed. He even opened cupboards doors. Robbie had woken up because something had spooked him.

__

Why do young children always know the word monster? Robbie must have had a bad dream. Oliver was trying to find a rational reason for his son’s reaction, he was not known to have nightmares.

__

At the door Oliver switched off the light and turned for one last look around the room. It was then he saw it. Standing on top of Robbie’s mountain of toys the shadow of Zed the zebra  loomed large against the wall. A lurid green light was gleaming through its eyes. 

Robbie must have woken up and seen it. No wonder the poor kid had been shit scared.

Oliver grabbed the zebra and moved towards the stairs. He flicked on the light switch. Nothing happened. He tried again with the same result. Leaving the toy outside he went into their bedroom and took the torch he kept at his bedside.

“Why do you need that” Felicity whispered, anxious not to disturb Robbie who had already returned to sleep.

“The bulb or a fuse has blown downstairs. I just want to do a quick check around”. Felicity nodded.

Downstairs Oliver found that none of the light switches he tried worked. He opened the door that lead to the basement and checked the fuse box on the wall above him. Sure enough the switch that controlled the electrics downstairs was in the off position. He pulled it back on.

He took the zebra to the kitchen and used a sharp knife to dig out the silicon orbs that functioned as the toy’s eyes. There were wires attached to the hollow underside of the orb and the other ends were soldered to a small flat metal square attached inside the toy.

Oliver frowned. He raised his head and looked around perplexed. Since Noah’s return Felicity had insisted on leaving the lower half of the house alarmed when they went to bed, it had obviously been disabled as well. What the hell...

“He’s sound asleep in our bed. I think he had a nightmare. But that’s not like Robbie. I’ve never known him to have a nightmare before, have you?”

Oliver looked up as Felicity came downstairs with the baby alarm. “What?” she asked her husband who had a weird look on his face.

“Take a look at this.” He handed her the toy with its disgorged eyes.

Felicity examined the wiring and circuit board inside it. “Noah! I’ll kill him. I was right about that sonofabitch. She looked up at Oliver, her eyes wide and streaming with tears. How could he? Why would he do this? I knew it. I can never trust him.

“Felicity what is it?”

“This is a clever little devise, an improvisation which can be activated remotely. It is designed to overload the circuits in the house so all the electronic gadgetry goes down.”

“Well the electrics for the two floors in our house run on different circuits so only downstairs was affected or that thing malfunctioned”.

“Oh my god Oliver, do you think this was a kidnap attempt?” Her whole body began to shake.

Oliver moved. He was almost certain that it was. “I’m calling the police”.

Twenty minutes later two officers arrived at the Mansion. They took statements and photographs of Zed on a cell. The Queens were told not to go onto the grounds of their home, a forensic team would be there in the morning and the Police Captain would have a report on his desk first thing.

A police car would also petrol around the Estate for the rest of the night.

Somewhere on the edge of the Glades a connected scenario was unfolding and within a matter of hours Felicity and Oliver will have to deal with the fallout.


	7. Mistaken Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A seemingly random event on the outskirts of the Glades has repercussions for the Queen family and Detective Lance gets involved. The past reaches out to touch Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advance info: дорогой is the Russian word meaning ‘darling’.

**That Sunday Night on the Outskirts of the Glades**

A few hours before the disturbance in the Queen household, Linton Johnson was returning home from a date with his girlfriend.

He was a scholarship student heading to MIT in the Fall to study computer science. He was currently doing a summer internship at Queen Consolidated Applied Sciences Division. He was overjoyed to get the opportunity to work at QC and hoped to get a job there on graduation.

Linton was learning a lot from his mentor Curtis Holt. Mrs Queen had also taken an interest because he was attending her alma mater. She told him stories about various professors and who to look out for.

On that Sunday night Linton stepped out of a cab a few feet away from the house he shared with his mother and grandfather on the periphery of The Glades. Suddenly he was yanked from behind and a foul smelling cloth was rammed over his nose and mouth.

Sometime later Linton woke up scared, blindfolded and tied to a chair. He had the presence of mind to stay still. A voice was saying “that’s not him. This guy’s ID says he is Linton Johnson not Curtis Holt.” Linton heard a loud guttural sound followed by profanities.

“Get him of here you fucking idiots. You took the wrong guy. Did he see you?”

“No boss.”

“Are you sure?”

“We jumped him from behind and chloroformed him. He didn’t know what hit him.”

“Well take him and dump him back where you found him. And I don’t want any fallout from this. I don’t want the cops sniffing around. Do you understand me?" 

“Right boss. We’ll just dump him.”

"I’ll deal with your stupidity later.”

Linton was untied from the chair but his hands were still bound behind his back. Something foul smelling was placed over his face again. When he woke up sometime later he was still trussed up and blindfolded.  He had no idea where he was. All he remembered was the strangulated voice telling someone to dump him back so he supposed he must be somewhere near his home. He just hoped someone would come to his assistance.

The next thing he heard was the wailing of police sirens then footsteps running in his direction. Two pairs of hands lifted him up on his feet and his blindfold was removed. Two guns were pointed at him. He was bundled into the back of a police car and driven away.

\---------------

**Burner phones connect in Star City**

_Voice 1: Tonight was a complete fucking disaster on all fronts Svetlana. I sent idiots to do a man’s job. They’ve totally screwed up. After all the details you provided and the photograph, they followed and picked up the wrong guy._

_We don’t have the scientist.  And that other idiot botched up access to the palace. The lights were supposed to be knocked out but they came on so my men had to retreat. The police arrived soon after and we had to abort the plan._

_Voice 2: You said my name дорогой you must be more careful. What do you want me to do?_

_Voice 1: You are the only one I can rely on. You've played your role superbly. You'll have to disappear in a couple of days. I’ll contact you again when I know how the land lies._

_The phones clicked off_

\-------------------

At 0900 hours on Monday morning a distraught mother answered her phone.

“Mrs Johnson? This is Detective Lance I believe you tried to report your son missing at about 2 a.m this morning.”

“Yes, yes Officer I did” an obviously distressed Mrs Johnson sniffled, “but I was told to call back in 24hrs if he was not home. Have you found him?”

“A young man aged about 18 is at the station, he says his name is Linton Johnson and gave us your number.”

“What happened to him?  Is he hurt?”

“He said he was kidnapped not far from your house late last night. Would you come down to the station in Star City straightaway? Do you know where we are? Good, I will arrange a parking space for you, just show some ID when you arrive." 

Detective Lance then called Felicity Smoak-Queen at Queen Consolidated only to be told she was still at home dealing with an emergency. Yes, he knew about that, the Captain had just handed him the report. There was no doubt in his mind the two events are connected.

Detective Lance despatched an officer to Queen Mansion to ask Mrs Smoak-Queen to come down to the Police Station immediately.

At the Mansion Oliver was speaking to the officer. “Is this about the attempted break-in here last night?”

“I don’t know Mr Queen, Detective Lance only told me to get Mrs Queen to come to the Station immediately.”

“Please get Detective Lance on the phone.”  He waited while the officer asked for his superior on the two-way. When a voice on the other end responded, Oliver asked the officer to put it on loud-speaker.

“Quentin, it’s Oliver. I’m talking to your officer and Felicity is here too. What’s going on? We’ve had an attempted break-in here last night or in the early hours of the morning. We’ve given your officers a statement and we are waiting for your forensic people to turn up. Why do you need Felicity to go to the station?”

“I have an incident report on my desk Oliver and the forensics will be there shortly if they are not already. I’d like to see Felicity on a related matter."

"What is it Quentin"? What's happened?" 

"We picked up one of your Company’s summer interns off the street in the early hours of the morning. He is now at the police station and he is telling an extraordinary story about being kidnapped but thinks another QC employee, a Curtis Holt, was the real target. I think the two events are connected.”

Felicity gasped and looked at Oliver, who looked bemused. “I’ll be there as soon as I can Quentin."  

“Thank you officer, I’ll use my own car” Felicity ushered him out of the door.  

“What the hell is happening Oliver? My father turns up in Star City and all hell breaks loose.”

“You go to the station. I’ll take Robbie to nursery school today. I’ve already briefed the body guard and spoken to Digg and Walter.” Oliver held up his hand as she started to speak.

“I know what you’re going to say, we should keep him at home today. I don’t think that’s necessary. We should treat today as normally as possible and Robbie seems oblivious to what happened last night.”

“But Oliver if someone tried to kidnap Curtis...”

“Felicity, trust me. Robbie will be fine. And you know I’d never put our son at risk. I’m also not prepared to let your father or whoever did this throw our household into chaos.”

“Okay, I suppose you’re right but what will we say when he asks where Zed has gone? I’m surprised that he has not already done so, given his attachment.”

“When he does we’ll tell him Zed got damaged and we had to throw him away, but we will get him another one. You go see Quentin and I’ll see you at the office later.”

Felicity headed off to meet Quentin Lance. She wondered what more the day would bring. After this there was no way she was leaving her son to go to Washington DC no matter who was attending the meeting and how much it meant to QC. If the other three wanted to go they were welcomed to do so, but without her. Her baby boy came first.

\---------------

Felicity sat in an interview room with Linton Johnson, his mother and grandfather, Detective Lance and a female officer.

As Linton told his story for the third time, Felicity’s face remained impassive. She suspected she knew more about all of this than anyone else in the room.

When Linton finished Quentin Lance thanked him and said he and his family were free to go. If he had further questions, he would be in touch.

“But is my son safe?”

“Yes Mrs Johnson, you can rest assured Linton is perfectly safe. It was a case of mistaken identity” the detective assured her. 

“Mom they really wanted my mentor at work. We are two black guys, same built and height, but somehow they mixed us up. It’s okay mom. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine."

He turned to Felicity “I’m so sorry for not making it to work on time Mrs Smoak-Queen, I just need to go home and change and will be at the office as soon as I can.”

Felicity stood up and gave him a hug. “Under no circumstances do I want to see you at the office today Linton. If you turn up I'll send you home. You and your family have suffered a terrible ordeal, so go home and rest today. I will see you in the office tomorrow.”

She turned to Linton’s mother. “Mrs Johnson I’m so sorry your family had to go through this. Take Linton home and make sure he gets some rest. And try not to worry, everything will be fine." She shook hands with them all. 

Quentin Lance asked the officer to escort the Johnsons out and she could return to her duties.

As soon as the door closed Quentin turned to Felicity. “Okay young lady let’s hear it. I know that you and that husband of yours know more about this than I do.”

Felicity smiled at Laurel’s dad. She was rather fond of Quentin Lance. Once upon a time he and her mother thought they might make a couple but it seems to have gone cold.

“Quentin my father Noah Kuttler has been in town for a few weeks and I am sure he has something to do with this.”

Quentin look surprised. He knew a little about Kuttler from Donna but it wasn’t until the FBI had been in touch that he knew the man was in Star City. But why would he want to break into his own daughter’s home?

“It seems your dad is a wanted man. The FBI asked Star City police to keep an eye on him until they could pick him up. In less than 24hrs Kuttler had disappeared. I don’t know why the FBI didn’t just let us arrest him, but I guess they had their reasons.”

Felicity’s eyes widened. “When were you asked by the FBI to keep an eye on my father?"

“Just last Friday or Thursday I think, they spoke to the Captain. Apparently he is wanted by the FBI and Interpol but he is a slippery character, and has evaded capture for years. I’m surprised a villain, and your father to boot, was at large in my City and not even the hood guy knew. How could that have happened Mrs Smoke-Queen?  What do you know that I don’t?” he stared pointedly at Felicity.

Of course they both knew that Oliver was no longer the dark avenger and had changed from ‘the hood’ to The Arrow but Quentin was enjoying his little joke at her expense.

“I haven’t seen my dad for nearly 19 years, but I thought I spotted him in the City a couple of weeks ago, then one day he was waiting for me in Starbucks across the road from QC. We met for about 15 minutes and I haven’t seen him since.

“He sent my son a toy zebra on Saturday with a note to me saying he was away on business for a few days but would be back. The toy was rigged to trigger an electrical shut down in our home. I assume you have this information in your file.”

“Why would your father try to break into your home?”

“From the little I know about him I suspect it was done on behalf of someone else to repay a debt probably.”

“Are you telling me your father was part of a plot to kidnap a member of your family?”

“Yes.”

“As ransom?”

“Yes. Probably for something QC has that they want. Something from my Department I suspect if the Johnson boy is right in his belief that they wanted to take Curtis."

“So who are these others he might be in league with?”

Felicity was not going to say any more, for the simple reason there was no more she wanted to say. “I don’t know Quentin. I have my suspicions but no proof.”

“Do you still have the toy, packaging it came in and the note?”

“Yes, we kept it all for forensics”.

"Good, I’ll just get a message to them to make sure they pick it up. Just give me a minute.” He left the room

As soon as he returned Felicity said “I hope you are going to investigate Mr Johnson’s kidnapping Detective, especially as a very valuable member of my team seems to have been the real target.”

“Well we don’t have a great deal to go on. But I will report what you told me about your father to the FBI and they may well be in touch with you.”

“That’s fine detective. I must get back to my office now. Will that be all?"

“Yes, Mrs Smoak-Queen” Quentin Lance gave her a warm smile, “I know where you are should I need anything else.” He suspected she knew more than she was saying but he wasn’t going to push her. Not yet.

She smiled at him and shook his outstretched hand. He escorted her to the Station door. 

\-------------

Back at the office Felicity briefed Oliver, Walter and Curtis

“Oh my god! Why would anyone want to kidnap me” Curtis squeaked.

“I would imagine they want to tap you for information on what we are doing, especially App(X). Getting hold of the blue print and specification would be of little use without someone who knows exactly how to make it operational. They probably thought you would be the easiest to lift off the street.”

“But how would anyone even know about App(X)”

"They don’t have to know, know. But we have an international reputation for cutting edge technology and the spinal chip has your name all over it. Anyone can discover that QC has patented a new application. They would assume it must be superior to the chip, and it might just net them a small fortune."

“I’ll arrange security to and from home and at weekends until the authorities have dealt with this matter” Walter told him.

“Great idea Walter, and possibly a tracking device” Oliver added. “How is the security in your apartment Curtis?”

“We don’t have anything beyond locks on the windows and front door. A tracking device would be cool. Perhaps I can get an App(X) implant. This is just freaky. Does it mean my life is at risk?”

“No Curtis, you’re no good to them dead.” Felicity knocked him playfully on his arm. “If it’s any consolation I am in the frame too, so we’re in this together.”

“Well that’s comforting” retorted an unimpressed Curtis.

Oliver frowned at his wife. He would deal with her personal security later.

“Detective Lance in on the case, and Oliver and I will be in constant touch with him. I suggest we get back to work now.” Felicity glanced at Oliver who gave her an imperceptible nod. There was much more to say later when they were alone.

Oliver called Digg. Security at the Mansion needed to be ramped up as well as the personal security of all members of the family. He was adamant that Felicity had a tracker as he had on Digg’s insistence when they first joined forces to clean up the City.

\---------------- 

Two days later QC’s senior team were in a car heading out to the airfield to board the Company’s private jet to DC. In spite of her protests and strong misgivings Oliver and Digg managed to persuade Felicity that Robbie was perfectly safe. There was no need to disrupt their lives for just a matter of hours.

Felicity was secretly looking forward to meeting Lisa Hamilton. She was full of admiration for the Secretary of Defense, a woman after her own heart. Her back story was amazing from what Felicity gleaned from various articles.

Hamilton was an orphan brought up by the system. Through sheer strength of will, hard work and determination she had simply batted all obstacles out of the way and risen to the top in the Army. Now in an atypical role for a woman in Government, she was highly respected and had a reputation for taking no prisoners and not standing fools gladly.

On arrival the QC delegation were escorted to a meeting room for their discussions with the Department’s representatives. Felicity was the first one to step through the door, and seven men got up from their seat as she entered the room. Felicity froze. Her eyes zoned in on one person.

 _Callum MacTaggart_.

What the hell was he doing here? She was shocked beyond words to see him. He had not responded to her call and QC was not informed that he would be attending the meeting.

Felicity dragged her attention to Bob Carmichael, Chief of Staff who was speaking. She moved further into the room so the others could follow.

Right behind her, Oliver had seen the sudden halt in her foot fall. He’d followed the direction of her gaze to the tall quite good looking man, whose eyes seemed to be glued on her.

“Welcome gentlemen and Mrs Queen" Carmichael was saying, “let me make the introductions....and last but not least this is Callum MacTaggart who is here in an advisory capacity but the boss values his opinion highly. He is the real life Q of British Intelligence; I guess we’ve all seen at least one James Bond movie.” Carmichael laughed. He turned to Felicity.

“Mrs Queen I believe you and Callum already know each other?”

Callum MacTaggart walked round to her side of the table and ignoring her outstretched hand kissed her on each cheek. “Yes Felicity and I met in Boston several years ago” he said smiling down at her.

Felicity stared into green eyes.


	8. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity is stunned by disclosures and gets angry with Callum. And Oliver is not amused

_Callum McTaggart had spent very uncomfortable and interminably sleepless hours the night before. He’d tossed and turned unable to settle down and get some rest._

_He had received Felicity’s message but held off calling her because he knew they would be meeting in a couple of days and what he had to say was best relayed to her husband as well._

_He’d kept tabs on her over the years and knew why she had called him. There were other occasions when she'd been in danger, especially when Deathstroke appeared on the scene, but had not called. He wondered why now. It must be because she now had a child._

_Felicity Smoak had been on his mind almost every day for the last seven years. He had wet dreams about her for god sake. He was both eager to see her again and dreaded meeting her._

_When he left her he knew there could never be anything lasting between them because of the precarious life he led. He travelled all over the world to especially dangerous places and was never in one place for longer than a few months. A steady relationship was simply unthinkable._

_Women were hardly a scarce commodity in his life. No. That was most definitely not a problem. But he was just a little in love with Felicity Smoak. He would never forget that 6-months interlude with one of the most beautiful women who had allowed him to worship her. He thinks of her now as unattainable._

_A sexual relationship was the last thing on his mind when he’d been tasked by the FBI to discover what she knew about Noah Kuttler and whether her mother was in touch with her husband, which hopefully would lead to knowledge of his whereabouts._

_He’d been directed to Boston where Felicity was an FBI witness against her former boyfriend. “Miss Smoak is a very smart cookie” he’d been told “but hopefully she won’t spot you because you are not who she’d expect.”_

_Callum MacTaggart was a chameleon and therefore a valuable commodity in the world of international espionage. He was equally at home dressed and behaving like a native in any Arab souk as he was in a tux attending some high society event in the Western world. His ease with languages made him even more plausible._

_The nature of his job required him to engage in some questionable if not downright immoral and unethical behaviour but deep down Callum MacTaggart believed he was an honourable man._

_He had not intended to sleep with the young student. That was neither part of his brief nor his personal inclination when he spotted her immediately in that diner. But after a number of days of falling under her spell, and he knew she found him attractive, what followed seemed natural._

_Now here she was in front of him looking even more beautiful than he remembered._

Callum forced himself to re-engage with the introductions being made and reached to shake hands with the three men who had entered the room with Felicity. Her husband was subjected to particularly close scrutiny in a way that might not be immediately apparent to the casual observer.

But anyone who underestimated Oliver Queen was instantly at a disadvantage. He was adept at disguising himself by deliberately meeting people’s expectations of his billionaire playboy persona.  Oliver knew straightaway he was being appraised. His eyes narrowed and became expressionless.

Oliver’s antennae zoomed in on MacTaggart. Kissing Felicity seemed unnecessary and deliberate to his mind. Who the hell was Callum MacTaggart? Felicity had never mentioned him by name but he must be the guy she’d met during Cooper’s trial and the one who might have information on Darhk.

Oliver took an instant dislike to the man. For one thing he was much too familiar with Felicity for his liking.

There was or had been something more than ‘knowing each other” between his wife and this man. The body language gave him away. Oliver angled his chair back so he could keep a covert eye on MacTaggart and the other on Carmichael who was talking.

“The Defense Secretary had expected to be present for part of the meeting but was called to the White House. But I'm expecting her on video-link in a few minutes.  Please, help yourself to refreshments” Carmichael gestured to a corner table.

Right on cue his cell rang and Carmichael switched on the screen on the wall. Lisa Hamilton’s face appeared. “Good morning gentlemen and Mrs Queen, I’m so sorry not to be with you.

"I wanted to be present for the demonstration. However, I rely on the judgement of the various Military heads present this morning as well as on Mr MacTaggart’s. He is Europe’s as well as the Western Alliance’s highly respected adviser on procurement.”

Felicity wondered at Callum’s real role. The description of him as the British Q or adviser on procurement did not ring true. It was probably a convenient cover for today. He was obviously many things that he never told her about. Not that he would or should. There was still something unknown about the man. Caitlin had been absolutely right.

Whatever he was she and Oliver needed to talk to him about Darhk before they left.

Felicity noticed Oliver looking at her and gave him a sweet loving smile. Her blues eyes soften as they spoke to him. His flashed an acknowledgement, and the response lay in the half smile that played around his lips. It was a flitting moment of intimacy between them in a public place.

Callum caught the wordless exchange between husband and wife and felt his antipathy towards Oliver Queen rise in his chest. He pushed away any thought that he was insanely jealous of the man who had the right to claim her.

“Shall we get on with the demonstration? Hamilton was saying...

“Um, yes Madam Secretary, Oliver responded. “It will just take a few minutes to set up. We’ll need a volunteer from the Department who will go into another room with Mr Holt and Mr Steele”.

The head of the Army stood up, declaring he had been volunteered as a guinea pig, and left the room with the two QC staff members.

The head of the Marine Corp was paired with Felicity. She asked the man to remove his jacket and roll up his shirt sleeve. She proceeded to press a small skin-coloured chip into his forearm and embedded it as far his skin would allow and covered it with a strip of clear tape. She then took a circular skin-coloured object that resembled a contact lens, placed it behind the corresponding ear and pressed it into place.

“In a few minutes you will receive a communication and must respond as if you were the superior officer in charge”. Felicity looked at the head of the Marines. “Are you okay? Is that clear?”

“Yes I think so” the man looked perplexed. How the hell is he to get this communication? Will his phone ring? He looked across at his colleagues and shrugged.

“We are ready when you are” Felicity told Walter on her cell phone. The Department’s personnel waited with bated breath. No-one had any idea what to expect.

“Frequent Flyer to base, are you receiving me? Over.”

The Head of the Marine Corp jumped in his seat and looked startled as the voice in his ear asked whether he was receiving the transmission. The man looked around and then back to Felicity as if seeking guidance or something.

“Frequent Flyer to base are you receiving me? Please acknowledge. Over.”

Head of Marines cleared his throat. “Yes...yes...I... can hear you loud and clear Baines...can you hear me? I mean Base to Frequent Flyer, message received. Over.”

“Encountering fierce turbulence.  Impossible to continue mission. Seeking further instructions. Repeat. Fierce turbulence making mission impossible. Seeking further instructions. Over”

“What?...You need a response to the transmission?”

“Frequent Flyer awaiting further instructions sir. Over.”

“Oh yes...right...I see...yes I understand. Um...The mission is aborted, repeat abort the mission. I will get back to you with your new orders. Please confirm transmission received and understood.”

“Transmission received and understood. Over.”

The exchange was followed by total silence. The head of the Marine Corp looked slightly flustered.

 Felicity and Oliver waited for the others to re-enter the room.

“Good gracious” Lisa Hamilton exclaimed “what just happened?”

“I just heard Baines speaking in my ear” the Head of the Marine Corp responded “and he heard me. We communicated”

All eyes turned to the four people on the other side of the table.

“Madam Secretary, gentlemen, you have just observed QC’s App(X) in operation. Two people can communicate with each other across the world without any need for handsets or video-links or other overt transmitters.

“With App(X) you simply open your mouth and speak. We can say that with confidence because the four of us have participated in several trials.” Oliver turned to Felicity, who continued.

“To keep detection of the device to a minimum, if indeed it is ever discovered, App(X) can be implanted via a relatively simple surgical procedure. The lens behind the ear is the receiver and as many as required can be formatted to correspond with the chip which can be used only once and does not work without the lens.” Felicity nodded to Curtis.

“So far we have tested App(X) across the country and between the USA and South America and Canada” Curtis continued. “We are about to test (App(X) further afield both with and without an implant. Obviously embedded under the skin will make it more effective. You will appreciate that I am unable to give you further details on specifications for App(X) but Mrs Smoak-Queen and I can answer any questions outside of that.”

“I must say, from what I’ve seen so far I am very impressed indeed” Lisa Hamilton informed the gathering. “Unfortunately I have to leave you to your discussions and will get a full report from my colleagues in due course.

“Thank you all so much for travelling down. I hope to be able to meet with you again in the near future. Mrs Queen, gentlemen.”  Lisa Hamilton nodded her head towards them and signed off. The screen on the wall went blank.

“Before any questions would anyone else like to participate in a demonstration? Perhaps Mr MacTaggaret and you Bob, or anyone else?” Oliver offered. The team went through two further demonstrations.

After lengthy discussions Carmichael called the meeting to a close and addressed the QC team. “Gentlemen, Mrs Queen as you have heard we are more than interested in App(X). I think it’s fair to say we all blown away by the demonstration. We look forward to taking our discussion to its logical conclusion having arrived at a mutually satisfactory arrangement as soon as you are ready. Thank you again for making the trip down to DC.”

As the group started to disperse Carmichael turned to the Queens and Walter Steele “would you mind saying behind for a while longer? There is an urgent matter we wish to discuss with you.”  He turned to Curtis.

“Can we show you to a waiting room or to the staff restaurant? Someone will collect you once your colleagues are ready to leave.”

“Of course” Curtis said and Carmichael pointed him in the direction of one of his staffers hovering at the door.

Carmichael asked Walter to accompany him, leaving Felicity and Oliver with Callum MacTaggart. Felicity looked at Oliver and then at Callum.

“What’s going on” Oliver asked him, what’s this about?”

“Felicity and Oliver what I’m about to tell you is highly classified and nothing I say can leave this room. This is not intended to alarm you, only to put you on the highest alert.”

“Callum you are scaring me. Just get on with it.” Both men glanced at Felicity and back to each other.

“Your Company, certain members of staff, as well as the Queen family have been put at risk by certain US citizens working with foreign governments.”

“What? Who? Does this have anything to do with...”

“Felicity let him finish honey”, Oliver touched her arm.

Felicity glared at Oliver. “No I want an answer. How long have you known that my son was at risk Callum?  An attempt was probably made to kidnap him just two days ago. Did you know about that? I left you a message why didn’t you respond. ”  

 “I am so sorry Felicity. I only knew when Star City’s police captain informed his FBI contact that there had been an attempted break-in at your home and one of your interns had been kidnapped. Your son would never be knowingly put at risk Felicity. We also knew something was going down when A.R.G.U.S. informed us of the nerve agent found in Star City, your father being there and...”

“Wait. You know about my father? Since when and what exactly do you know? And who is this ‘we’ and ‘us’ you keep referring to?”

Callum looked pleadingly at Oliver, his eyes beseeching Felicity’s husband to intervene. Oliver would be damned if he would help the man. When his wife was really angry and there was no stopping her. But he wanted to hear what MacTaggart had to say.

“Felicity” he turned his chair to face her and took both her hands in his, “we need to get back to Robbie as soon as we can. Please just let Callum finish. I’m sure a lot of your questions will be answered in the process.” He glanced across at the man, who gave him a quick nod.

The mention of Robbie calmed Felicity down. “Okay” she glared at Callum.

He tried hard to push away the thought of how beautiful she looked when angry.  Callum reminded himself that she was another man’s wife and he was actually in the room with them. He brushed his hand over his face, wanting to relay all the information he needed to without arousing her ire. But what he had to say must be difficult for her...for them both to hear.

“Kuttler has tried unsuccessfully to use his skills to subvert this country’s national security to repay his creditors. The FBI and CIA, Interpol and M15 have had eyes on your father for years. He owes money to various gambling dens owned by criminal organisations such as the Russian mafia” – he glanced at Oliver.

He knew a lot about Queen including his connections with Bratva. He’d made it his business to find out about the billionaire playboy when he heard Felicity was getting married to the man.

He also knew about his activities on behalf of A.R.G.U.S. before and since his return to Star City. He would bet his bottom dollar that Felicity didn’t know half of it but then it was none of his business.

What Callum did not know was how closely Oliver was tuning into him and had not missed that sly sideswipe hidden in the mention of the Russian Mafia. Oliver was tightly coiled. He had to remind himself that he was not being stalked by predators on Lian Yu. Outwardly he remained calm and loose limbed.  His eyes were opaque as he looked at MacTaggart across the table. His lips were moving Oliver observed. He should listen to what the man was saying.

“Recently we received Intel that Kuttler was in Star City and had contacted his daughter. We already knew about his connections with your Mayor Damien Darhk whom we are certain is behind the nerve agent found recently.  Kuttler disappeared before we could arrest him.”

“Callum when I met you all those years ago was it...did you...” Felicity bit her lip. Oliver squeezed her hand.

Was their meeting deliberate all those years ago? Had Callum used her, as Caitlin had vaguely suggested, pumping her for information on her parents? Felicity could feel the anger rising up her chest. She looked at Callum and his eyes shifted away from her to Oliver. Yes, the sonofabitch had used her. She was certain of that.

Callum knew he had just stepped into a danger zone and thought it wise to disengage from the situation as quickly as possible. “I know you have questions but at this point it would be best to have Mr Steele and the lead FBI agent on the case join us.”

“Before you go, I’d like to know if you are British Intelligence why are you and not the FBI dealing with all this?” Oliver asked the man. He had quite a few questions about MacTaggart that probably only Felicity could answer. They were not questions about his job and role.

“I can assure you Oliver the FBI is taking the lead on this matter internally. Agent Watson is currently briefing Mr Steele. But I work closely with the CIA when both men venture overseas. 

"I hold the portfolio on Kuttler for Interpol and on Darhk’s activities in Russia and some Arab speaking countries, along with US agents of course. Since I knew Felicity (he left out the word intimately) it was agreed that I could talk to the two of you as well. You will obviously receive a full briefing from the FBI.”

Oliver could tell. MacTaggart was good. He told the truth but only part of it. That was an excellent answer and it would satisfy most people. But not Oliver Queen. He'd been shaped and honed in the fiery hellholes into which he had been thrown head first by Fyers, Ivo, A.R.G.U.S and Bratva. He knew deception intimately. He could smell it. Deception had stalked him every minute of every day for five years when nothing good happened.

There was an aura around MacTaggart that suggested he was as dangerous a predator as any he had ever known, but cleverly disguised. He didn’t fool Oliver Queen. There was an edge to this man he simply didn’t trust but he had little choice but to let it go. 

Callum was certain that Queen would not be totally satisfied by that response but it was all he was going to get. He had a calculating look in his eye as he surveyed Oliver. Having met and observed him Callum had radically revised his view of the man. He smiled. But time was on his side. There was nothing but time. All scores would be settled in time.

Oliver and Felicity sat in silence after Callum left the room. They needed time to digest everything they had just heard. It was all too much to take in.

Felicity turned to Oliver “What do you think they want with Walter? How is he involved in all this?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders and took her hand. "I don't know but we'll hear soon."

"I hope Walter is okay I don't understand why they needed to talk to us separately." 

They could only wait for further revelations. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revelations come thick and fast. Whatever next? What's Walter's involvement? The next chapter is called Russian Spy (tease!)


	9. The Russian Spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More revelations before the team head back home and Walter is the most battered by it all.

She was trying to make sense of the day’s revelations whilst waiting for Walter and the FBI agent. By now she was pretty certain that the seemingly random meeting with Callum MacTaggart in that diner seven years ago was anything but. She had been his target, his assignment. She was sure about that now. 

Caitlin had seen it all along. But she had fallen for it. How could she have been so stupid? He was using her all along. He was nothing but a slimy unethical... She didn’t have the words to describe how low Callum MacTaggart had sunk in her estimation.

Why would he turn up at this meeting? Something didn’t hang together for her.

By the time Callum MacTaggart returned Felicity’s blue eyes were pinpoints of weaponized shards of ice aimed straight at him. She felt rather than saw him flinch as the full force of her disappointment and disdain hit him in the solar plexus. If she had access to her husband’s quiver she would put an arrow in him herself. Right there and then.

Ever the keen observer Oliver caught the vibrations escaping from his wife’s body and the ice floe heading towards MacTaggart. He allowed himself an inward smile. If he was not mistaken the man had just become chopped liver.

Callum was introducing Samandra Watson the lead FBI agent on the case. Oliver and Felicity turned towards Walter who looked as if he’d been hit by a ten ton truck. He sat with palms joined together and his fingers resting against his lips. He was staring straight ahead.

“Mr and Mrs Queen I’ve just been asking Mr Steele a few questions about Svetlana Nabatoff, a Russian agent who has lived in the US from teenage. You will know her as Sandra Nelson” explained Agent Watson.

“What?” Oliver and Felicity said in unison.

“Walter’s girlfriend? It can’t be, are you sure...Walter?” Oliver turned to his friend asking him to verify what had just been said.

“We suspect that Svetlana or Sandra has been trying to pump information about Queen Consolidated activities from Mr Steele for the last few years. We believe she was not able to get far with that but we are pretty certain she was instrumental in the botched kidnap attempt on Mr Holt. She is also Damien Darhk’s mistress.

Felicity’s mouth curved into a soundless ‘O’. Her eyes widened in disbelief. Poor Walter he must be shattered by this information. Her heart went out to him. She had to stop herself going over to comfort him.

“We believe that Miss Nabatoff or Nelson as she is known deliberately inserted herself into Mr Steele’s life to glean as much information as she could about QC’s Applied Sciences Division. Initially they were probably after the implant for spinal injury, but then discovered that there could be something even more valuable, but didn’t know exactly what they were looking for.

"Mrs Queen you and Curtis Holt were the two key people who could further their plans. Holding Mr Queen or your son to ransom would ensure your co-operation."

Felicity jumped up. “That’s it. I’ve heard enough. I need to get home to my son. If you have any more to say, you know where I...where we are Agent Watson. I need to go home. Now.” She looked at Oliver and Walter.

“I understand that your first concern is for your son’s safety Mrs Queen but please be assured that we are almost certain that any immediate threat to your family and your Company has passed”, the Agent gave Felicity a reassuring look.

“What about Darhk and the nerve gas” Oliver asked. Was he intending to use it against the City?”

“What I said earlier is all I can tell you Mr Queen”.

“Agent Watson if my family is still at risk of harm by that man I need to know” Oliver insisted.

“Mr Queen, it is highly likely that by the time you get home, Star City will be looking for a new Mayor.”

“Why? Have you arrested him or did you let him slip away like my father?” Felicity demanded to know.

“I’ll be in Star City the day after tomorrow” Agent Watson informed them “and hope to have further information on our progress with this whole matter.”

Callum’s attention had been fixed on Felicity the entire time. Now he turned to Walter and Oliver. “Gentlemen I’m sorry that we had to meet under such difficult circumstances.”

Walter remained silent. Oliver nodded his head and got up to stand beside his wife.

Callum turned to Felicity, his hand extended to shake hers. “Felicity, I hope...”

“Goodbye Callum.” Felicity turned away to pick up her bag and briefcase and walked towards the door.

Oliver and Walter followed her. Agent Watson escorted them out of the building.

The journey back to Star City was made in near total silence as each of them mulled over the day’s shocking revelations, helped by a couple of shots.

All except Curtis that is. He was listening to his iPod totally oblivious of the cataclysm that had engulfed his bosses.  He was pleased with a great presentation made to the Defense Department and the first batch of orders would be coming down the pipeline. A good day’s work all in all.

\-----------------

On arrival Curtis left with his waiting husband.

Oliver suggested that Walter should go with them to the Mansion. The three of them needed to talk and have several more stiff drinks.

Walter readily agreed. He was not looking forward to going home.

While Felicity went upstairs to check on Robbie and Raisa and spend a little time with her son, Oliver handed Walter one of the large glasses of whiskey he’d poured out.

“You should eat something Walter”

“I’m not hungry Oliver, really”.

Oliver could see Walter was still in a state of shock. “We’ve basically had snacks all day and I’m certainly going to have something to eat. So come, at least you can keep me company.”

Walter followed Oliver into the kitchen to find the feast of grilled chicken, salad and warm garlic bread Raisa had left for them. There was blueberry pie for desert.

Oliver set the plates out and began to help himself. He grinned when Walter automatically did the same.  

Felicity came in quietly and sat beside Walter, putting an arm around his shoulder. “Are you okay? I can’t imagine how you must have felt when you heard about Sandra today." 

“Apparently her name is Svetlana”. Walter offered sombrely. “How could I have been such a fool? All these years and I didn’t suspect a thing. And she is Darhk’s mistress? That just kills me.”

“What exactly did the FBI want to know?”

“They asked when and where we met and what exactly did I know about her and had I met any of her friends. The more I think about it, the more I realise how gullible I was. I believed without question everything she told me." 

“She was an only child who lost her parents when she was in her early teens. She went to live with her father’s sister in Florida and after studying marketing and management she worked as a Realtor but came to Star City to get as far away as possible after the break of a long term relationship.”

“The perfect spy cover story when you think about it” Felicity said.

“Do you want to stay here tonight, you’re welcome to” Oliver told him.

“I really can’t face going home; I won’t be able to conceal my feelings and certainly can’t share a bed with her. Under the circumstances I would gladly stay here at least tonight but the FBI thinks that I shouldn’t raise any alarms and try to behave as if nothing had happened. God knows how I’m going to manage that. I can’t I just can’t.”

Walter bowed his headed. “I hope you don’t think that I divulged any company secrets to Sandra or Svetlana”.

“Of course not. Not for a second” Oliver reassured him, putting a hand on the man’s shoulders. “It was clear from what Agent Watson said Sandra was not able to get any useful information at all.”

“We agreed that no one outside the four of us would ever know that there was even something called App(X) and certainly not a hint of what it was. I kept to that agreement” Walter affirmed.

“We know Walter. We would never doubt that. I’ve known you a long time and would trust you with my life” Oliver assured him. Walter gave him a grateful smile.

The three talked through the events of the day, until Walter felt able to take himself home.

Within 45 minutes of his departure, Oliver’s phone rang.

“Oliver, it’s Walter, Sandra is gone. All her things have gone”.

“I don’t know what to say Walter but I guess it was inevitable since Darhk’s plans seem to have unravelled.”

“I’ve left a message for Agent Watson. There’s nothing else I can do.”

“Well if there is anything you need or want me or Felicity to do, we are just a call away.”

“Thanks Oliver. Goodnight”

“Goodnight Walter.”

He turned to Felicity who was standing expectantly by his side. “She did a moonlight flit didn’t she?”

Oliver nodded. “Poor Walter, this has hit him really hard”.

We’ll support him as best as we can, he’ll get through it.” Felicity peered at Oliver “he doesn’t seem to have much luck with his women does he?”

They both knew she was referring to his mother. Oliver looked bleak.

Felicity gave him the bottle of wine she’d just opened and took up their wine glasses.  “Come with me” she beckoned to him with a sideways flick of her head.

Oliver followed her to the living room where she sat cross-legged on the couch and patted the seat beside her. “Let me tell you about Callum MacTaggart”.

Oliver stared at his wife. She really was something else.

“How did you know I was going to interrogate you?" 

“Because I know my husband. Your body language didn’t exactly disguise growly Arrow. I’m so glad there was no opportunity for you to put an arrow in him”

“Don’t think I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t believe a word he said most of the time.”

Felicity laughed. For the first time in many days. “I was thinking the same thing. At one point I wished we had brought your quiver. I would’ve put an arrow in him too”.

“Yeah. Tell me about that. I saw the look you gave him...if looks could kill.”  There was a hint of satisfaction in Oliver’s voice. He looked indulgently at his wife and kissed her.

“I didn’t believe what Carmichael said for a minute. It sounded a bit silly”

“Did I miss something? What did Bob say?”

“He described Callum as the British Q”. Oliver raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on Oliver. Q is the eccentric scientist guy who makes 007’s gadgets like exploding pens and watches that contain a zip-line or something.”

“I obviously missed that. But Hamilton’s description of him as an adviser on procurement sounded plausible. App(X) would definitely be of interest to European agencies.”

“Exactly, it was a good cover to explain why he was in the meeting”.

“Gosh when did my wife get so sceptical?”

Felicity shrugged. “It was weird to see him there. He seemed out of place and did you notice we got very little information on Darhk? They know more than they are saying. Did you think Agent Watson was holding something back? I think she might have said more if Callum wasn't in the room. It was just a feeling I had."

Oliver chuckled. "Get you reading the subtext. You're worse than I am Smoak. You know these guys are very territorial. They don't really like to share information with each other. So just to state the obvious, you didn’t divulge a name but I'm assuming MacTaggart is the guy you met during Cooper’s trial.”

“Yes. On the second day of the trial I was having lunch in a diner when this guy asked if he could sit at my table because the others were occupied. It was true. I was the only person sitting at a table for four.

“Anyway, we began to talk. He was amusing and interesting. We had lunch together every day for the rest of the week and after that he and I became lovers.

“It lasted 6 months at the end of which we went our separate ways mainly because his assignment in Boston was complete.” She stopped and took up her wine glass.”

 “What was he doing in Boston?”

“He said he was on assignment working with a Government department. I now think I was the assignment or at least part of it”.

 She looked at Oliver. He was looking right back at her but she couldn’t read anything from his face.

 “Were you in love with him?”

“Nope. It was pure sex.”

“But he fell in love with you.”

“I don’t know Oliver, I seriously doubt it”.

“Well take it from another guy, he did and he still is.”

“Nothing I can do about that, and I don’t really care. He used me. I must have been just a gullible little fool to him.

 “He lied to me. That meeting in the diner was not accidental, it was a set-up. I think he was trying to get information on my mom and dad. Even now I have no idea who he really is. I suppose if you work in a certain field you become by necessity an unethical slimeball.”

“When did you know that”?

“Just today when he started talking about Noah and from something Cait said. I don’t think she trusted him. The penny dropped then I saw his face and I knew. You took my hand, so you must have sensed something.”

“You bit your lip and there was an incredibly sad expression on your face. I just wanted to comfort you not knowing what was going on in your head.”

She nodded, remembering the expression on Callum’s face that gave him away.

“So you kept his number all these years?”

“Before he left Callum gave me the number of an answer service that would reach him anywhere in the world. Given his background I took it as a protective thing to be used in an emergency and kept it.”

“And you called him.”

“Yes. After that conversation with Digg in the Foundry. But he didn’t return my call.”

Oliver opened his mouth to ask something else but thought better of it. Instead he took her hand and kissed it, and kissed her again on the cheek. “Thank you”.

She smiled at him and continued to sip her wine, deep in thought.

She hated the idea that she had been a pawn in a bigger game that others were playing and one she knew nothing about. It offended her sense of self. Yes, the sex had been great and she had come through some sort of initiation into womanhood but to be used like that. She would never forgive the bastard.

Oliver was watching his wife. He wondered what was going through her head right now. He wanted to ask whether Little Minx had emerged during her time with MacTaggart. That thought had consumed him during the flight back from DC as he watched her thinking how hard he was going to fuck her as soon as he got the opportunity.

As if reading his mind, Felicity emptied her glass and stood up. “I’m going to have a long hot shower to wash off the day. I need it.” She gave him a look which he didn’t have to interpret.

Oliver remained seated where she had left him. The time had come when he must tell her about William and Samantha. But not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Tonight he needed to make love to her. His need bordered on desperate.

He cleared away the wine bottle and glasses, checked the security downstairs, set the alarm then walked upstairs to find his wife.

Oliver could hear the sounds from the shower as he entered their bedroom. He removed his clothes and opened the bathroom door.

He watched the water cascading down her body, massaging it as steam rose around her as if to shield her from his gaze. His cock twitched and the electricity spiralled through his body from its coiled position at the base of his spine. His desire for her rose unbounded as it always did.

Felicity heard him enter the bathroom and she waited for him. Her heart drummed staccato beats and soft pants pushed their way through her parted lips. Felicity’s hands cupped her breasts. She yearned for Oliver’s touch. The heat rose inside her as she heard the shower door open and close.

His large hands moved slowly and deliberately over her body, following a familiar path and his lips found the spot on her neck just beneath her ear. His hand replaced hers and he gave her breasts a soft squeeze. His thumbs flicked gently back and forth over her hardened nipples.

 Felicity whimpered, her knees buckled. He held her up and pulled her closer into his body. She closed her eyes and savoured his touch on her body. She’d longed for this, for him, all day.

Felicity turned to face her husband. She pressed her breasts against his chest, her lips found his. One hand threaded through the short hair at the base of his neck and the other reached to stroke his dick.

He moaned into her mouth. One arm tightened around her waist, a knee pushed between her tights and his fingers slipped into her moist heat. He was going to fuck her hard right now then take her to bed and make slow sensuous love to her for a long time. She was his at least she was tonight.

\-------------------------

Two days later Agent Watson met with Oliver, Felicity and Walter to bring them up to date with the FBI’s investigation.

“Both Noah Kuttler and Svetlana Nabatoff have been arrested and are being interrogated. Mr Kuttler will probably be charged for treason and Miss Nabatoff” she glanced at Walter “will end up going to prison for a very long time.”

“Mrs Queen, as we suspected your Father actually knows nothing about the nerve gas and what Damien Darhk planned to do with it. It was probably above his pay grade. He’s role in this whole thing was to give Darhk access to you and whatever he wanted from Queen Consolidated.

“Although Darhk didn’t know anything specifically about your latest innovation, there are at least two Governments with which he could have been in league. Both would pay handsomely for whatever he could steal from QC. 

“We’ve allowed Darkh to go. He has already slipped into Syria via Iran but we have eyes on him and can pull him out whenever we are ready. But we want to use him to chase down the source of that nerve gas.

“You let him go? Really?” Felicity looked at the Agent with an exasperated and disbelieving expression. “A man who was instrumental in getting a nerve gas into this country, something that could devastate the entire City, leaving people to die in the most hideous way. Are you kidding me Agent Watson?”

Agent Watson glanced at Oliver. She'd get no help from him. He wanted to hear her response too.

“Mrs Queen you must trust that we know what we are doing. There is always a bigger picture that we cannot divulge. I hope you can understand.”

“So there is much more to what you are telling us now?” Felicity persisted. She hated mysteries.

“Look Mrs Queen two Russian exiles were recently poisoned in England and there has been previous deaths caused by toxic poisoning.  

“We need to know how Darhk was able to get a nerve gas into this country undetected. We suspect the Triad had a hand in it, but only as middle men. They are not particularly friendly towards Darhk. We think he tried to double cross the organisation.

We believe that Star City was just a transit point on the journey. I can confidently say you your family are perfectly safe now. I have already stepped beyond my brief in sharing certain information with you. Please keep our conversation here this afternoon between the four of us. I trust I can rely on your discretion.”

“Yes of course Agent Watson, Oliver spoke for the three of them. Thank you for your candidness. I can assure you that our conversation will remain confidential.”

“Well that’s a relief.” Felicity was the first to speak after Watson left. “We can get on with our lives again.”

“Aha, my wife has lost some of her scepticism”.

“I can assure that I haven’t”

“Felicity Smoak-Queen I hope you're not thinking what I hope you are not thinking”.

“It’s okay Oliver, I promise I won’t be hacking into the FBI’s systems”. She smirked at him.

“Walter? Are you okay?” Felicity suddenly remembered they were not alone.

“Not really, I’ve been thinking over the last couple of days. I’m not sure I can remain at Queen Consolidated after this. I feel like the weak link."

“Walter that is just ridiculous and so far from the truth” Oliver objected. “The Company will be much poorer without you at the helm beside me. If there is any way I can change your mind, I will try my utmost to do that."

“I’m gratified at your confidence in me Oliver. I can assure you that I won’t give you short notice and leave. I’ll mull it over during the next twelve months and will give you all the time you need to find a replacement if that is what is decided.  I think now might be the time for me to think again about returning to England.”

“I’ll be so sad to see you go Walter” Felicity chimed in. “We have all become so attached to you, especially Robbie. I shall certainly join with Oliver to try and dissuade you. But I know your family is in England and you will naturally want to be near them.”

“Well we have time yet....Anyway, it’s Friday and it’s time to head home for the weekend."

“Are you at a loose end this weekend Walter” Felicity asked him. “We have nothing particularly planned and it would be nice to see a bit more of you. Why don’t you spend it with us?” She glanced at Oliver.

“Yes, Walter we would really like that”. Oliver added his encouragement. “I owe you a game of chess.”

“That’s kind of you both but I am spending the weekend with friends out of town. I want some distance between me and Star City for a few days. But thank you. Perhaps another time?”

Felicity gave him a kiss on the cheek and Oliver shook his hand and wished him an enjoyable and relaxing weekend.

“Well husband” Felicity said after Walter had left. “It looks like I have my boys all to myself for two whole days and three nights. What fun.” She winked at him.

Oliver looked at his wife. He wished it was over. He was glad Walter had other plans for the weekend. He and Felicity needed to talk.

That evening after they’d put Robbie to bed and had dinner Oliver turned to his wife. “Felicity we need to talk...I need to talk. I have something to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Oliver really ready for the big reveal or will life intervene making it still not the right time?


	10. Shellshocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come and Oliver finally opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter by necessity because I needed to breathe after writing it. And the tempo changes quite dramatically after that so I had to go away and come back having shifted into another gear.

Oliver wanted to talk.

She’d been waiting for this moment, intrigued about his conversation with Caitlin but couldn’t ask either of them. Caitlin wouldn’t have told her anything anyway. She just had to wait until Oliver was ready.

“What do you want to talk about Oliver? Is it to do with your conversation with Caitlin?”

“Yes.”

“Are you okay?  I’ve been waiting for you to say something but I guess it’s been pretty full on these last weeks.” Felicity patted the seat next to her on the couch.

“No. I’m going to sit over here.” He sat on one of the armchairs on the other side of the room.

Why would he choose to sit so far away from her on the other side of the room? He never did that. “Oliver what’s going on?” Felicity felt the hairs at the back of her neck rise. This was not good. “You’re frightening me. Do you have some incurable disease or something?”

“No. Nothing like that. I want to tell you a story.”

Still she tried to keep the atmosphere light, as if to keep the looming darkness at bay. “Oh? Is this one of your games? You want me to name the fairy story.”

“Felicity please. I’m not playing a game. This is serious. This is a true story about my life. It began over ten years ago.”

“Before you left with your dad on the Gambit?”

“Yes. I don’t know where to begin, except at the beginning.”

“That would seem like a good idea.”

Oliver closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face. “This is so difficult and I don’t want to mess up.”

“I’m sorry baby, I’m being childish. I asked you to keep quiet for me last time I had something significant to say. I won’t interrupt until you’ve finished” Felicity promised.

Oliver sighed. “You know my story before the island....”

“Booze, women, threesomes with Tommy, peeing on cops car, cheating on Laurel with...”

“Felicity you promised” he said wearily.”

“Sorry, I was just letting you know that I know, so you don’t have to recap all of it.”

“Alright, but I wasn’t going rehash everything.” He was silent for a long while trying to gather his thoughts.

Felicity watched him. She could see he was struggling and wondered what could possibly be so difficult for him to say. She got up and went to sit beside him rubbing his back, a hand on his arm.

“No. I need you to sit back where you were, or I won’t be able to do this.”

“Okay.”  She felt really anxious now, but moved back to the couch.

I might as well dive straight in Oliver decided. “I got a girl pregnant before I left on the Gambit.” He heard his wife gasp. He waited but she said nothing. He couldn’t look at her.

“Did you know? Is that why you left with Robert?”

“Yes. No. Please Felicity just let me tell you.” He waited. She was quiet.

“Her name is Samantha. She was a friend of Laurel’s. We were all at a party. I got very drunk and it just happened. When she told me she was pregnant I didn’t know what to do. I was terrified. There was no way I could handle being a father then.

“Of course I ran to mommy, like the spoilt brat I was then. She told me that I should expect these things and it was probably a scam. To tell the truth I didn’t hear half of what she said. I was worried sick about what my father would say and disappointing him again. And the fact that being a father was the last thing on earth I wanted.

“About a week later Samantha called me and said it was a false alarm and apologised for any worry she might have caused. I was relieved and very happy. Everything in my world was right again. I took up exactly where I’d left off. I continued cheating on Laurel by asking Sara to come with me on the Gambit.

“Jump forward to six months ago. Walter and I were visiting Kord Industries in Central City and I saw Samantha. She had a young boy with her. He looked a lot like Thea when she was that age, and like me I suppose. So I followed them to her house. When she saw me she hurried inside and closed the door. I just stood in complete shock. I knew that was my son.”

Oliver glanced up at Felicity. Her eyes were as wide as saucers behind her glasses, her mouth was opened. Oliver’s stomach plummeted, he felt sick. He looked away from her and continued.

“Five minutes later she came out looking very angry, and asked me what I wanted and I should leave immediately and never come back.

“I told her I knew that was my son and I was not leaving until she talked to me. I would stay there all night if necessary, pounding on her door. I would not have done that of course, but I had to say something to keep her from walking away.

“She told me to wait and went back inside. When she came out again she invited me to sit on her porch and she told me the story.

“Apparently she'd came to the Mansion to see me all those years ago. I wasn’t home but my mother invited her in and found out who she was and why she wanted to see me. Moira bribed her to leave town and never make contact with or try to see me again. She wrote Samantha a check for $1,000,000. She said Samantha would get another million once the child was born.

“I swear to god Felicity, I knew nothing of this until I met Samantha in Central City.”

Oliver stopped talking and kept his eyes glued to his hands on his lap. He dared not look at his wife, who was saying nothing.

Minutes passed in the silent room until Oliver whispered “Say something Felicity”.

“Have you seen Samantha and your son since? What’s his name?

“William, his name is William. And yes I have seen them both twice since then and have spoken to Samantha on the phone a few times.”

The silence went on for hours it seemed to him. Every sound in the house was magified tenfold. Still the silence continued. He looked up as she spoke.

“I don’t understand Oliver. Why are you only telling me about this now? Six months after you knew? I’m your wife Oliver, we live together; we have a child.”

“I know and I’m so sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you from day one. Samantha made it a condition if I wanted to see my son and get to know him, I could not tell anyone about him. I argued against her and said I had a wife whom I loved deeply and would not and could not keep it from you.

“She gave me an ultimatum. If I ever did that and she found out, she would move far away and I would never see William ever again. She said it was bad enough that he might eventually have to know who his father is.”

“Oliver I am fine with your story up to the time you saw them in Central City and followed them. Everything that happened before that was done by Moira and you knew nothing about it. I have no problem with that. It’s not your fault.

“But after you met her and William, no matter what she said, are you seriously telling me that you put me and Robbie in second place behind some woman that you hardly know. Do you even have any proof that William is your son?”

Oliver raised mournful eyes to look at her face. "Felicity I was going to tell you but the longer I left it the harder it got. And it’s all so complicated.”

"Complicated? What does that mean? You must be the only person on the planet who finds the truth complicated."

“Felicity please...I..I wanted to...”

“No Oliver. Stop talking. I don’t want to hear it. I expected better from you. All the men in my life - my father, Cooper, Callum, now you... you of all people... you all want to use me to get what you want. I don’t matter, I’m expendable. Do you even love me Oliver? Who do you think I am? What am I to you?

“Felicity, I don’t want to use you, I love you, please let me...”

"I need some air”. She got up and moved to leave the room.

He leapt up from his chair and in a few strides reached her and grabbed her arm. “Felicity don’t go, please. There is so much we have to talk about. Please Felicity, don’t leave me.”

She looked up at him. For a moment two pairs of eyes looked deep into the very core of the other. One asked for something the other searched for something. Neither of them able to speak.

Her eyes were moist. “I’m not leaving you Oliver, I just need a bit of time to digest all this, and I can’t do it here with you."

“Felicity, you can’t leave now. We made a vow never to walk away from each other in an angry state.”

“I’m not sure what I am right now Oliver. I am a lot of things. And will you please let go of my arm, you are hurting me.”

Oliver dropped his hand as if he’d been burnt. He watched through a hazy mist as his wife walked out the door.

 

\---------------------

 


	11. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin supports Felicity to support Oliver through the aftermath of his revelation about William! Of course she does. That's who she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath = after effects. I've always wondered whether the outcome from the revelation of William's existence might have been different if Oliver had chosen to do it of his own volition rather than being forced into it by events outside his control. Or if they had been married and had a child. So I wrote it.
> 
> Would love to hear what you think.

After Oliver dropped his bombshell Felicity did what she’d always done. She ran.

She grabbed her keys and was out of the house in seconds. She thought she heard a noise behind her but she got into her car and just kept going. She found herself at the City limits and about to head on to the highway going god only knows where. She had a need to get as far away from Oliver Queen as possible .

She had no idea which direction she was heading. Road signs were meaningless. She was driving through an unending tunnel of grey nothingness. She was not angry just numb. Maybe she would feel something later. Her thinking faculties had also deserted her.

At the next drive-in she turned in and got herself a coffee and sat in the car. She couldn’t think straight. She didn’t know what to think, except that she and Robbie had second place in Oliver’s life. Oh My God. Robbie. The mist cleared and her thoughts zeroed into focus again.

She had to head back home. She was a mother and could not let her baby boy be affected by this in anyway.

\-----------------

Back at the Mansion all the lights were on exactly as she’d left them. Her phone told her it was just past midnight. Where was Oliver?

She needed to see her baby boy and watch him sleep. Felicity was about to rush upstairs when out of the corner of her eye she glympsed a body. Oliver! He was laying on the living room floor in the foetal position. The coffee table was overturned nearby. She realised that was the sound she heard as she was leaving the house.

 

Felicity ran to her husband. His eyes were glazed and simply staring straight ahead. It was warm in the house but he was shivering. Felicity shook his shoulder. “Oliver? Oliver what’s wrong?” There was no answer. “Oliver? Oliver answer me. Oliver!” She screamed his name.

She picked up her cell from the floor and hit the direct dial button for Caitlin. She was hysterical.

"Caitlin! Can you come now? Something is wrong with Oliver. You have to come now."

“Fee what is it? What has happened?”

Felicity was in a heightened state of panic. Her words were tumbling out. “There’s something wrong with Oliver. He is not moving and not speaking. He has been like that for at least two hours. I don’t know what to do Cait. Shall I call first responders?”

“Fee! Stop and listen to me. The best way for you to help Oliver is to stop panicking. Where are you now as you are talking to me?”

“Sitting near him on the floor in our living room.”

“Fee Do you trust me?"

“Of course I do.”

“Just checking.  Is Oliver breathing normally?"

"Yes"

"Okay good. Now do exactly what I tell you. Get yourself a glass and water and drink all of it.” 

Caitlin listened to the background noises as Felicity followed her instructions. “Now close your eyes and take four deep breaths in through your mouth and out through your nose, counting to four as you breathe in and four as you breathe out. I’m doing with you. Start now.”

Caitlin mirrored Felicity’s breathing. “Tell me what happen? Why has Oliver been where he is for two hours? Where were you?”

“That’s how long I’ve been gone. We had a row. Well not a row exactly. He told me he had a ten year old child Cait. It’s not that he has a child, it’s that he’s known that for the last six months but didn’t tell me.”

“Listen to me Fee. I want you to go back to Oliver and feel his pulse is it too slow, too fast or normal?”

“It feels normal to me, maybe a little slow but just a little.”

“How would you describe his eyes?"

“Dull, lifeless, opened but staring blankly.”

“What about his skin – hot, cold, damp?”

“It feels clammy and he is shivering a bit.”

“That’s all good. Fits in with what I think is going on.”

“What’s happening Cait, what’s wrong with him? Will he be okay? It’s all my fault, I left him. I heard a noise and didn’t care”.

“Fee you must stay focused. I think Oliver has gone into crisis. In no more than three sentences tell me what happened?"

“When he told me he had another child, a son but didn’t tell me. I started to berate him and said some terrible things. I started to walk away, leave the house and he tried to stop me. But I left and have only just walked in and found him slumped on the floor.  He is mute, shivering and staring straight ahead as if in a trance.”

“Knowing the little that you have told me of Oliver’s history, I'd say that his emotional stress line has probably been overloaded and all he heard was that you were leaving him. A while ago he told me that you were the reason why he was still breathing.

“There are no hard and fast rules about how you should react to his current state. All I will say is try not to let your feelings about your row interfere with your ability to just be there for him now. Also touch is good, given you relationship.

“Talk to him gently and try to get him upstairs and into bed. He will probably follow what your voice is saying because you are his lifeline, but tell him only what is true for you. He must be able to trust what he is hearing. Do you understand Fee?”

“Yes.”

“You can leave him for 2-3 minutes at a time if you absolutely have to but tell him what you are doing. Now find some headphones if you can so I can stay on line with you but I don’t want him to hear any other voice except yours so you can’t put me on loudspeaker.”

“Okay” Felicity responded. “Oliver I am getting something from the office, I’ll be back in 5 seconds.” Felicity stepped into their office and found some headphones. “Ok Caitlin now what, shall I try to get him upstairs now?”

“Yes, but be patient Fee, take your time. If it takes an hour or even more to get him to bed, I will stay on the line with you. I will say something if I need to and you can talk to me by talking to him. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Felicity knelt beside Oliver and spoke to him. “Oliver, sweetheart, it’s me Felicity. I love you baby can you hear me. Oliver I’m here, I’m back now and not going to leave you. I’m not going anywhere. Do you hear me baby? I’m here and I love you”.

She kissed him on the cheek and took his hand and kissed it, then placed it on her heart.

[That’s good Fee keep going]

“Oliver I love you so much. I am here, I am not leaving you. I am here baby. Robbie and I love you. We are a family."

Felicity grabbed all the cushions she could find and arranged them on the floor behind his head and shoulders then pushed him gently on to his back so he was propped up against the head rest she had just created. She unbuttoned her shirt and took it off. She lay down beside her husband and moved his head so that his ear could rest on her chest against her heart, while she stroked his head, his face, shoulder and arm. She kept kissing him on the forehead.

[What’s happening now Fee? Tell me by talking to him]

“Oliver can you hear my heart, can you hear how it’s beating with love for you? Can you feel my touch and feel my kisses on your face. Everything is fine baby I’m here now. I’m not leaving you.”

[That’s good Fee keep doing that and keep talking to him. I’m going to stay here with you until you can get him upstairs to bed]

“Oliver can you hear me baby. Squeeze my hand if you can. Squeeze my hand Oliver if you can hear me.”  A minute or so later she felt the gentle pressure on her hand. “That’s it baby you are going to be fine”.

Ten minutes later Caitlin suggested she try to get Oliver to move.

“Oliver, let’s go to bed sweetheart. Come upstairs with me, let’s go to bed. Will you come with me?" She was still kissing and stroking him. Felicity waited with bated breath. Sure enough, she felt the gentle pressure on her hand once again.

“That’s good my love. I am going to help you up now, okay?” He squeezed her hand again.

Felicity stooped beside him and put his arm round her shoulders and her arm around his waist. With some effort Oliver got to his feet. It took them much longer than it would normally to get up to the bedroom. She sat him down on the bed. He just stared at her.

“That’s good sweetie, we made it. I am here. I am not leaving.” She took his hand and he squeezed hers.

[Take all his clothes off and get him into bed]

I’m going to take all your clothes off sweetheart but you are still shivering, I know, but it will be okay, we’ll get you warm soon.

[It’s okay Fee, what he needs is your body heat, skin to skin, now strip off and get on top of him. Try and cover his entire body with your own body. I am assuming that is okay with you, not feeling shy or anything. Caitlin sniggered]

She wanted to keep her friend’s panic mode down.

Felicity undressed Oliver completely, laying him down on the bed to remove his trousers and underwear then pushed his legs on to the mattress. She stripped and got on top of him and covered them both with the duvet. Oliver lay perfectly still with hands by his side.

“That’s it baby. I’m going to get you warm now.”

[You’re doing just great Fee. I’ll stay on the line for a few minutes more. You get comfortable on top of your husband. I’m sure Oliver will revive by the morning, and we can talk again then. If you need me before morning call again. Don’t say anything I’ll just hang up now.]

Felicity took the headset off, put her phone down. Twenty minutes later Oliver’s body heat was back to normal and he had stopped shivering.

Felicity remained in her position, stroking him gently. He breathing was even and rhythmic. Hoping he had gone to sleep she rolled off him on to her back and edged her body close to his. Oliver promptly followed her, resting his head on her heart with an arm around her waist. He was breathing evenly but she had no idea if he was sleeping.

She just held and stroked him. Eventually she fell asleep.

 

\----------------------

Oliver woke the next morning almost on top of Felicity. He edged his body gently off her and on to his back. He watched the early light of day beginning to creep into the room, sneaking through between the edges of the Roman blinds and the window frames.

He wondered why he was completely naked. He looked over at Felicity, she was naked too. Did they make love? He couldn’t remember. He slipped quietly out of bed and found some clothes on the floor. He put them on and left the room. He made his way downstairs and out into the garden, where he sat on a bench facing the house.

He felt calm in one compartment of his mind. He remembered what happened yesterday. Felicity had left him. It was late and she had gone out into the night. He heard the door close behind her and that was all he remembered until he became aware that she’d come back to him. She had spoken to him softly and soothingly. She touched him. He could hear her and feel her but from a long way away.

They had gone to bed together and he didn’t feel cold anymore. She had covered him in warmth.

This morning he was angry. Angry with her. Angry with Samantha. But most of all he was angry with himself. Why could he not get it right and then he hurt the people he loved most? He’d let everybody down, his parents, his sister, Laurel, Tommy, and now his wife and their son, even Samantha and William.

Yesterday Felicity told him that he had put her second to some random women. That hurt him. She’d questioned whether he loved her. The tears welled up in his eyes.

Oliver covered his face with his hands and his body doubled over. He understood why she would say that. Caitlin and Felicity herself had tried to tell him of her insecurities and her immediate response to perceived rejection. Of course it would seem as if he had put Samantha and William before her and Robbie. He could see that now. But it was not true. It was not.

His family, including Thea were part of him, a part of his heart. They were fused to him. He simply did not experience them as separate and that was probably part of the problem. He needed to see them as separate with their own perceptions, feelings and needs. He needed to put himself in their shoes more often.

Caught up in his own arid desert Oliver did not see or hear Felicity approaching until he felt arms around him and soft kisses on his hair and on his fingers. She prised his hands from his face and lifted his head so she could cup his face with her hands. She kissed his lips.

“I woke up and you were not there. I didn’t know where you were”.

He smiled at her, looking deep into her eyes. He could see the grief etched on her face. It mirrored his own grief but unlike her, he had lost his capacity for words.

He had retreated back to those times he’d experienced the most bestial things on the Island, Hong Kong and in Russia. It was a place he often retreated to in the early days of his return to Star City when he felt disembodied and totally detached from everyone and everything happening around him.

He felt like that now.

“Baby”

He heard her voice. If she was calling him 'baby' that meant she was not too angry with him. He looked up at her.

“I’m going to take Robbie to the Diggles today so you and I can have the whole day together. Is that okay?”

He smiled at her and nodded.

She returned his smile and began to walk back inside.

\--------------------

Even before fully returning to consciousness of the day she felt the void. Oliver wasn’t in the bed beside her. The space where she would normally feel his warm body by moving her hand slightly was cold. Her eyes flew open and looked around the room. She'd hurried out of bed and checked the bathroom, grabbed a robe and rushed to Robbie’s room. There was no sign of him.

Running down the stairs, her first stop was the living room. It was then that she spotted him through the double glass French doors. He was sitting on a bench in the garden. Her heart broke. Her husband looked so desolate and broken. His feet were bare and his eyes closed.

While she watched Oliver, Felicity called Lyla. She needed her friend to have Robbie for the day. She and Oliver had to talk.

Her focus returned to Oliver’s unmoving form. He could maintain the most unnerving silence filled with a brooding but dangerous presence. In that place his awareness was finely tuned, at its sharpest and most acute. But not today, not right now. Today he seemed like an empty shell.

Oliver had a quality of stillness about him that was part and parcel of his being. She’d always loved that about him. He reminded her of a monk in meditation. That stillness sprang from his very core and made her think of a rock in a storm. He was her rock. She felt so safe with him. Always. Today she needed to be a rock for him, to make him feel safe.

Right now he seemed detached, withdrawn and unreachable. She stood at the window watching the man she loved with all her heart. They would work through this but she had no idea how.

Why did she have to snap into automatic behaviour, giving in to old outmoded impulses? Why did she run out into the night? He would have been panicked and unnerved by that under normal circumstances. It must have been so much worse if he had it in his head that she was leaving him. Did he not know she would never leave Robbie? 

She hadn’t stopped to hear or allowed him to say everything he needed to say. She didn’t stop to understand or cared to hear about what he must have gone through to find out he had a son after all these years.

The tears rolled down Felicity’s face as she watched her husband. She had to break through his desolation. It was only when he slumped forward that she was galvanised into action.

\----------------------

In the house Felicity called Caitlin. She was still concerned about her husband and was unsure how to be with him.

“Morning chicken. How is he this morning and how are you?”

“He’s up and dressed. I found him sitting in the garden when I woke up. I don’t know how long he’s been there. We spoke, well I spoke he just smiled at me and nodded when I said something.

“I’m scared Cait. I’ve never seen Oliver like this before. Even when badly injured and sedated he always comes round with a quip or something ridiculous. But now he seems so alone and far away from me. When Moira died he took himself away for weeks so I had no idea what state he was in.”

“It’s okay Fee. That’s probably just his coping mechanism. He talked to me about his inability to tell you something that was obviously troubling him but didn’t say exactly what it was. He feared his inability to communicate fully everything in his heart would upset you and you would turn away or leave him. I guess in his mind his worst fears materialise and he went into coping strategy."

A sob escaped from Felicity “Oh Cait, that’s exactly what I did. I ran.”

“The best thing you can do today is stay close. Try not to leave him. Even if you are not right beside him stay within his range of vision or tell him where you are going. Make sure he stays hydrated, and if he doesn’t want to eat don’t force him. Fruit and water will be fine for 24hrs if that is the only thing that he wants.”

“Right. Got that. Robbie is spending the day with JJ so I can focus on Oliver.”

“Are you leaving Oliver when you take Robbie?”

“Oh shit. I can’t do I can I? What shall I do?”

"Ask him to come with you."

"Suppose he doesn’t want to."

"He will. Trust me. I keep telling you, you are his lifeline. I believe him when he says you are the person that keeps him breathing. You married a damaged hero Fee. Take care of him and he will take care of you. Now is not the time to let those abandonment issues lead you by the nose."

"Cait you are a life-saver and the very bestest of friends. I love you, you know that right? I don’t know how I’d survived through this without you."

“That’s what friends are for silly. Give me a call later if you need me okay chicken."

“I will. Bye.”

Felicity called Lyla for a second time that morning. She had already explained that Oliver was having some sort of PTSD related crisis. The Diggles would immediately get that. It was the only thing she could say that wouldn’t arouse curiosity and generate questions.

“Robbie is welcomed to stay with us until Sunday Felicity. JJ will be so happy to have his co-pilot around this weekend.”

“Thanks Lyla. That would be so helpful. It will give me more time to be with Oliver 100 percent.”

“It’s no problem Felicity. You would do exactly the same for me. That’s what friends are for.”

“Thank’s Lyla, we’ll be there in less than an hour.”

Felicity got her son ready before approaching her husband. He was exactly where she’d left him. “Do you want to come with me to take Robbie to the Diggles?" He nodded.

“That’s good. We are ready when you are.”

Oliver got up and followed her to the car. He had no shoes on and she allowed him to be how he needed to be.

At the Diggles Felicity called Lyla from the car. “Oliver is with me, would you mind coming to get Robbie. We are outside.”

Within a few minutes Lyla and JJ appeared and Robbie was anxious to get out of the car.

“Okay Robbie, don’t be so impatient, I’m coming.” She handed her son to Lyla with his overnight bag.

“Bye Daddy, I see you later." Oliver smiled at his son and waved him goodbye.

“Hi Oliver” Lyla greeted him. Oliver smiled and nodded at his friend.

“Thanks Lyla. We'll pick him up tomorrow.” Felicity kissed her son and waved them goodbye.

She didn’t know what the next 36 hours would bring but she wanted to take Caitlin’s advice and not let her abandonment issues cloud her judgement. If there was some way, any way, she and Oliver could come back from this, she wanted to try. At least for Robbie’s sake.


	12. Rocky Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver confront his lies and deception. Oliver has a plan to mend broken fences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to those who responded to the last chapter and left heartfelt comments. I'm always amazed by how invested so many of us are in the story of Felicity and Oliver. 
> 
> I got so engrossed in my final chapter that it got much too long. I'm trying to cover too much ground. So there's an unexpected chapter 13 - lucky for some.

Oliver had been silent on the outward journey to the Diggles and was silent as they drove back home. She took a quick sideways glance at his profile. He was looking straight ahead. That aura of detached stillness hung around him.

Oliver felt Felicity’s eyes on him even for that brief moment. He laid a hand on her thigh as if to reassure her.

His mind was curiously blank. He was resigned. He was in some sort of limbo waiting for whatever was emerging out of the undergrowth coming for him. He would simply let it wash over him. He had no further thought, no further plan beyond that. He was powerless to stop anything. He had waited dreading this moment and now it was here. His fate.

She felt his hand on her thigh and briefly covered it with hers. We’re in this together she wanted to say. We’ll figure it out. If you’ll let me in. I’m not going anywhere. She wanted to prise him from wherever he had retreated because he needed to talk to her. This one could not be overlooked. 

 An eerie silence had descended on the Mansion and it mirrored Oliver’s current state. Felicity took his hand “I know you are not able to talk right now. I understand. It’s fine. I’ll do the talking for both of us for now but we have to talk at some point Oliver.”

He nodded and gave her a gentle smile. His eyes looked sad.

“Don’t know about you but I’m hungry. Do you want to go out for brunch or something?”

In response Oliver went into the kitchen and reached into the cupboards for ingredients to make pancakes.

“Okay” she responded “let’s eat here. You’re cooking. She smiled at him. “I’d like some scrambled eggs as well please.”

Oliver gave a small bow in her direction. He went to the fridge and got eggs.

Felicity chose a selection of fruit and started to dice and slice.

They ate in silence. He looked at her for most of the meal. He was beginning to feel less isolated and lost within himself. When he started to clear away after breakfast she helped. That interlude of domesticity provided a veneer of calm, of normalcy. But they both knew they would have to safely navigate the maelstrom he'd created in their life and avoid being swept away by it.

 “What do you want to do right now?” she asked him.

He took her hand and pulled her into their home office where he took out some paper and began to write.

_You will never ever be second best. Please never think in those terms. I choose you first and always. I’m sorry my clumsiness and stupidity hurt you. Please forgive me. I want to work this through with you and hope you will give me the opportunity to show you how much you mean to me. I love you more than life Felicity. You and Robbie are my whole life. Without you I have nothing, I am nothing. You are the reason that I’m breathing. I’m reminded of that every day because it’s true._

She took his face between her hands and gently kissed his lips. The tears filled his eyes.  

“I have a plan” she told him “but you’ll need to put some shoes on. Let’s go for a walk in Memorial Park. When was the last time we did that, just the two of us? If you’re good I might even let you feed the ducks.”

 He chuckled then.

“Then we’ll come back and order takeout. Oliver nodded and left her to find his shoes. He stood at the door watching her. She was looking at something on her tablet.

Oliver walked up to his wife, gave her a kiss on her cheek while removing the tablet from her hands and placed it on the desk.

“Come on. Let’s go”. She took his hand.

\----------------------

They sat side by side in silence on a bench overlooking the pond. They were both thinking about the events that had overtaken them in the last few hours.

He felt like a man with a noose around his neck waiting for the trap door to open. His life was in her hands, as he struggled to find the words that would propel them to a new place. The words refused to come. He tried. But any words he dredged up sounded dismally inadequate.

Words were not enough. If he could remove his heart and give it to her that would come a little closer to expressing it all because his heart contained everything he wanted her to know.

He wanted to be a presence in William’s life but in his mind it would mean losing her and somehow he needed to reconcile those two things. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how. In the meantime he existed in a no man’s land. How long would their relationship endure that misfiring? He didn’t want to think about it.

Instead he watched her and waited. Waiting for what, he didn’t know. Maybe some sort of mediator could help him tell her how divided he felt without pushing her away. Help him to find a way of remaking their lives, of integrating the two parts of him.

Felicity knew they couldn’t continue this way. He’d told her his burdensome secret but now what? She wanted to talk to him about it but the words wouldn’t come. Somehow it felt intrusive, invasive, as if she was dictating what he should do about his son.

She was aware that he couldn’t ask for what he wanted if he even knew what that was. So it was stalemate. They couldn’t go back but they were unable to move passed it and go forward.

“Felicity I’m not a bad person”.

She jumped as if someone had just thrown ice cold water on her bare skin when she wasn’t expecting it. Her heart began to beat really fast.  “I know that Oliver. I have told you that many times over the years.”

“I meant every word in that note I wrote to you earlier. I wish I could give you my heart to hold, so can you would know everything that I think and feel about you.”

“I know that you love me Oliver in your own way.”

He looked at her sorrowfully . “What does that mean?”

“You don’t love me enough to trust me Oliver. How can there be love without trust? Your love has conditions.”

“I don’t understand”.

“You can be with me and marry me as long as I don’t know the totality of Oliver Queen. You live your life in different compartments. Your wife and your son live with you in one compartment. Samantha and William in another. That life you lived when you were both on and not on Lian Yu is in a third box. You are Queen Consolidated CEO and the Green Arrow. 

“I’m looking at you now and I’m not sure who you are. My own husband is a stranger to me. That was never more apparent than in the last 12 hours. It’s taken just half a day to smash our life together into pieces. Why? Because you lie Oliver. 

“I thought, mistakenly apparently, that Robbie and I were the centre of your life. Do you know what hurts the most? You're the guy I'm my most vulnerable with. I have no barriers against you. I believe you when you say you love me, when you whisper tender words of love to me in the throes of passion. I trusted you and you have proved untrustworthy; that I cannot believe a word you say; that our marriage vows were meaningless to you. That’s what hurts the most. How must I live with that knowledge? That’s why I wanted some distance between us yesterday. Why I had to leave the house. I was suffocating.”

“I’ve made so many mistakes Felicity. I'm begging for your forgiveness. I want to be a better person. You make me feel so ashamed. I'm not worthy of you. I know that. I didn’t put myself in your place. I didn’t stop to think what my hiding William would do to you...to us...to our family.”

“But you’ve lived with it all around you Oliver. You’ve watched lies and deception destroy your own family and those close to you – your father, Thea, Walter, Tommy, Laurel...perhaps If you’d been straight with your mother about who Slade Wilson really was...” her voice trailed off.

“Perhaps Samantha is right. You do pose a threat to her son. It's your lies that will damage him. And what about our son Oliver? Will Robbie too be a casualty of your lies and deception? You know I’ll not allow that to happen because I'll not collude with you.

Oliver’s shoulders slumped. He looked totally shocked and bewildered. “Dear god Felicity do you really believe what you’ve just said about William and Robbie?” Oliver put his head in his hands. “That’s very hard for me to hear. When you put it like that I sound like a monster that should be by himself because I bring pain and darkness to everyone who associates with me.

“Don’t go there Oliver. That’s just a cop out. There is nothing that makes you intrinsically a monster. It’s simple. Given the choice to tell the truth or a lie YOU LIE EVERY TIME or avoid telling the whole truth.  And that Oliver is down to you. It is your choice.

“I don’t want to be that person Felicity. I want to change. I will change but I don’t know what to do to make this right.”

“I don’t mean to hurt you Oliver or be deliberately vindictive but you need to take stock of how you live your life and decide what you want. What do you want do you even know?”

“I think I do but I don’t know how to achieve it” Oliver sighed. “You and Robbie have brought joy, peace and contentment into my life. I would go to the ends of the earth to keep that. I need you Felicity. I love you.

“I also want to be a father to William. Now that I know he exists I cannot abandon him. Apart from what his mother said, it was partly my need to protect him from the life that I lead that kept him a secret. And you’re right when Samantha gave me that ultimatum I should have stood up to her. I didn’t. But it was not from a calculated decision to keep you out. Felicity you must believe that.

“I have lived different lives. You’re right about that too but I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want you in a compartment Felicity. It was never my intention to put you there. I want us to share our lives fully and completely. I'm so afraid of losing you that the longer I kept the deception going, the harder it became to tell you about it.

“What can I do to put this right Facility? I can’t turn back time it’s already happened. I probably made the worst mistake of my life. I get that now. Just tell me what you want me to do.” I want to work this through with you and I know it cannot be resolved in one day."

She looked at him. She still saw the man she loved, the man she had married. Her husband and father of her child. “You know what Oliver. You figure it out. I feel exhausted right now. Beaten up by you...by this whole thing.  I want to go home now.”

He put a hand on her arm. Next thing she knew he was kneeling on the grass in front of her, his arms wrapped around her knees. His blue eyes locked on hers.

"I don't want it to be beyond my capacity to be the kind of husband that you deserve. But it is by far the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life. I can do CEO, I can do the Green Arrow. I think I'm a good father to Robbie but you challenge me always to be the best that I can be. And I'm trying Felicity but I also know that I falter. I just want you to believe in me, to continue to have faith in the man that you saw and fell in love with. I would never want to betray your trust ever but I can see how I've done that and I'm so, so sorry. I'll make it up to you Felicity. I promise." He laid his head on her lap.

She stroked his hair and closed her eyes. Yes she believed in him, and of course she was going to give him a chance but it was not possible for them to simply carry on their lives as if nothing had happened. This was a big deal and she knew he was only just getting a sense of just how big a blunder it had been on his part. 

"Come on" she whispered. "Let's go home." 

\-----------------

It was almost two weeks since Oliver had told her about William and Samantha and they'd talked in the park. That night in bed he’d reached for her and kissed her. But as his hand began to move over her body and his tongue probed at her lips seeking entry she moved her head away and stopped his hand.

“I really can’t do this right now Oliver. I’m not withholding sex as punishment. That really isn’t what is happening. I just need some space and some time.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Do you really?”

“Yes Felicity of course I do. I may be incredibly dense and stupid but I am sensitive to how you are feeling right now. I’ll make you a promise. I will wait however long it takes for you to feel comfortable with my touch, or want me to touch you.”

They both lay side by side on their backs staring out into the darkened room. “I just want to hold your hand” he whispered. “Is that okay?”

She reached out for his hand.

\-----------------------

Since then neither of them had raised the issue that had literally brought them to their knees a few short days ago. The silence around the topic stretched to eternity. It sat there like the elephant in the room of their lives waiting to be confronted.  In different ways they each felt the strain it was putting on them.

Oliver was even more silent since he’d told her his secret. She often felt his eyes on her but he said nothing and that made her angry and frustrated. She knew what was going on for her but didn't want to deal with it now. 

He knew the William issue was not settled. Telling her was not enough somehow the reality of it had to be integrated into their lives but he was at a lost to know how to take things forward; how to make good his promise to make it up to her.

He missed her dreadfully. He knew she had slipped away from him somehow and he seemed unable to make things right between them. Those things she’d said in the park had devastated him. He couldn’t bear it that she held that view of him. That had never been his intention. His first instinct was to protect her always and his family but he had got it badly wrong. All he could do was give her the space she asked for and hope time was on his side.

Just like the silence, time too stretched into eternity and there was no one to turn to, to make it right. Oliver allowed himself a wry smile. Every time he’d been a total screw-up in the past Moira had fixed it. Now it was down to him.

Finally Oliver made a decision. He knew what he had to do. He called Samantha and arranged to go and see her.

“But William will be at school then. You usually want to spend time with him” a suspicious Samantha responded to his suggested time to meet.

“I know. But you and I need to talk.”

“Oliver we have an agreement. I hope you are not planning to wriggle out of it.”

"We’re not having this conversation on the phone Samantha. I’ll see you next Friday.”

At home that evening he told Felicity his plans. “I spoke to Samantha today. We’re meeting at the end of the week. I’m going to tell her I’ve told you about William and it’s time for him to know I’m his father.”

“Fine. I’m off to bed now.”

He wasn’t sure what to expect when he told her but that wasn’t it. He watched her walk away from him until she disappeared from his sight.

Her response was not reassuring. He suddenly felt full of self doubt. Suppose what he was planning to do was the wrong thing? What if the whole thing blew up in his face at the other end? He’d have liked to discuss it with her. She always had such clarity. Oliver stayed on the couch all night, his mind churning as he second guessed himself.

Laying in bed Felicity felt heartsick. This was not how she envisaged her marriage to Oliver to go. The last thing she wanted was to bequeath her son a broken home. Apparently it ran in the Kuttler-Smoak family. She had no idea which was the better option, to live in a one-parent family or grow up in a dysfunctional one like Oliver. She wanted neither for Robbie.

She slept fitfully all the while aware that Oliver had not come to bed. She hadn’t known how to respond when he told her about going to see Samantha. Part of her still felt numb.

Felicity raised her head as the bedroom door opened and Oliver stepped inside.

“Hey. Sorry did I wake you”

“No. What time is it?”

“It’s just after 0500. I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to disturb you so I stayed downstairs. I’ve been thinking and would like to run something by you.”

“What is it Oliver?”

“It’s about my meeting with Samantha. I’m going to confront her and tell her that I have a legitimate right to see William and have him be formally acknowledged as my son. If she raises an objection then I’ll have no choice but to go the legal route.”

“So what do you want from me?”

“I trust your judgement Felicity. You have good instincts and I wanted to know what you think”

She looked at him for a long while. “Why now Oliver? Do you want to share this with me because I'm your wife?"

Oliver braced himself for what was coming next. He could tell by her tone. He supposed he deserved it.

“I was your wife six months ago and you made a decision and acted on it without any input from me. So you can go ahead and have your relationship with Samantha without any contribution from me."

“Felicity please. It doesn’t have to be like this. And I’m not having a relationship with Samantha. She is William’s mother and I have to engage with her. I am trying my best to salvage something from the mess I’ve made”.

Felicity sat up and swung her legs out of bed and stood up. “Fine. You want to rewind, go ahead and do that but leave me out of it. I’m going to have a shower.”

She stood beneath the cascading water letting the heat ease the tension in her muscles and soothe her anxiety. She was aware that he was trying to draw her in but she couldn't help him. She needed him right now and he was not available. She was unable to respond to him. She supposed she was suppressing her anger.

They had to find a way to bridge the chasm threatening to tear her family apart and Oliver confronting Samantha wouldn't help matters. Suddenly Robbie cut across her thoughts and Felicity knew what she had to do. 

When Felicity closed the bathroom door and left him standing there, Oliver turned and left the bedroom. He needed coffee. He would do whatever it takes to salvage his marriage. He had to win Felicity back. He loved her too much. And his plan was the only way he could see to fix this.

\-------------------

“Raisa has arrived” Oliver said when his wife walked into the kitchen some time later.” Can you wait for me to have a quick shower and we can drive to QC together?”

“I won’t come with you today. I'm taking Robbie to nursery school then I have an errand to run”.

“Okay”. Oliver stared hard at her “I’ll see you later then” he said looking puzzled.

“Yes. I’ll see you at home tonight.”

That means she won’t be at work today and he didn’t know what was going on with her. He was worried. Why was she taking the day off? Was she going to see a lawyer?  She obviously wasn’t prepared to give him time to try and fix things between them.

Hellish thoughts engulfed his mind all day. He was unable to concentrate and spent most of the day staring into space.

At the time when he would normally head home to spend time with his son at the end of the day, he headed for the Foundry instead and texted Felicity to tell her. He knew he was being a coward but he couldn’t face her. He didn’t want to hear what she had to say.

The refrain of a familiar track played in his brain:

 _I'd climb every mountain_  
_And swim every ocean_  
_Just to be with you_  
_And fix what I've broken_  
_Oh, 'cause I need you to see_  
_That you are the reason_


	13. New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity arrive at a place of resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of _You Are The Reason._ Thank you for your comments and encouragement. One reader guessed accurately what Felicity was going to do next. Well there were two guesses and one was correct!

Once Oliver had left for work Felicity reviewed her plans for the day. She had three stops to make, one filled her with trepidation. She had no doubt what the outcome would be. The indicators had been around for some time. Life had thrown down the gauntlet and was waiting to see which way she would jump.

She took her son to school and made one more stop before purposefully setting off to carry out her main mission for the day.

Three hours later Felicity opened a gate, walked to an unfamiliar front door and rang the bell. A dark haired woman about her age opened the door.

They stared at each, Felicity spoke first. “Hello you don’t know me, my name is...”

“I know who you are, you’re Oliver’s wife."

Yes, I’m Felicity Smoak-Queen, may I come in?"

“What do you want Mrs Queen, it’s not convenient right now and you’re the last person I expected to see on my doorstep. I'm guessing Oliver sent you ahead to soften me up, well it won’t work. I knew he was up to something when he called me."

“Oliver doesn’t know I’m here. I didn’t tell him. And yes, I know about William.”

 "Look Mrs Queen I don’t know why you’re here but I have nothing to say to you. This is between me and Oliver. He has broken his promise to me and there will be consequences. I warned him. You need to leave now." Samantha Clayton began to close her door.

Felicity stuck her foot out. “I’m sorry to land on your doorstep like this Samantha but if I tried to arrange a meeting, I know you’d never agreed to see me. I am asking in all humility and respect for you and your son to give me just 20 minutes of your time.”

The woman glared at her.

“Please Samantha I’m not the enemy. We are both mothers. I grew up without a father and it was a very painful experience that scarred me as a child. I have carried the remnants of that into adulthood.”

To her surprise Felicity saw tears brimming in the other woman’s eyes. They were hurriedly brushed away. She opened the door wider and gestured Felicity to come in.

“Can I offer you some coffee?" Samantha led the way into her kitchen and pulled out a stool for Felicity to sit around the island.

“No thank you. A glass of water will be fine. Thanks."

“What is it that you wanted to say Mrs Queen” Samantha asked as she handed Felicity a glass.

“Please call me Felicity.”

Samantha nodded unsmiling; her facing had a questioning expression.

“I want to know why you would ask Oliver to keep the fact that he had a son away from me. As I understand it you literally blackmailed him. Why would you do that?"

Samantha shrugged. “I don’t want William to have anything to do with the Queen family. They didn’t want to know him in the first place. Then after I’d struggled alone for 10 years to raise my son, Oliver suddenly turns up and wants to claim him? No. I will not allow that."

"But Samantha Oliver didn’t even know you had his child. He said you told him that you'd made a mistake and wasn’t pregnant after all."

Samantha sneered. "Did he tell you that he got his mother to try and buy me off?"

“That’s not what happened. Yes, he told Moira he’d got a girl pregnant, and yes he was not ready to be a father but he didn't know that Moira had offered you money to go away.”

“That’s what Oliver said but why should I believe him”.

"Samantha I know my husband. He may be flawed in all the ways you think the Queens are, but Oliver has a good heart, a deeply loving heart. You should see him with our three year old, and with his sister Thea. He is not the person you think he is."

“The relationship you are forcing him to have with William is tearing him apart. It’s tearing our marriage apart. I have done nothing to you neither has our baby son Robbie. Why would you wish to smash my family to pieces? Is that your intention, to hurt Oliver as you’ve been hurt?

“And what about William? Does he have a say in this? Are you really going to force him to live a lie because you want revenge on the Queens? You can’t want revenge on Oliver, he didn’t do this. The person who did is dead.”

Samantha was silent, staring at Felicity. She didn't want to hear this. She was angry. The tears filled her eyes, overspilled and ran down her face. She brushed them them away with the back of her hands. She placed both hands on the work surface. Her shoulders were haunched. Rasping sobs shook her. Ten years of hurt and a deep sense of rejection and loneliness seeped out of her bones and the deep crevices of her being.

Devastated by Felicity’s words, Samantha's body collapsed on a stool and she laid her head on the island. She was not an unkind person. She’d just been hurt and then pushed off the edge when Oliver suddenly appeared on her door step with no prior warning demanding to see her son. She had been blinded with rage and ten years of pent up anger lashed out at him. Right now she felt spent and broken, no longer propped up by the crutch that had kept her going all these years - wanting revenge for the humiliation and injustice heaped on her by Moira Queen all those years ago.

Felicity let Samantha cry. It was a release and cleansing. After a while she moved to stand beside the distressed woman and put her arms around her shoulders; she waited for Samantha's sobs to subside.

“You’re right”, Samantha’s voice quivered. I did want revenge on the Queens. I wanted to hurt Oliver as Moira had hurt me. I never cashed Moira’s check you know. I still have it. It stokes my anger every time I come across it.

“But deep down I would like William to have a relationship with his father. I have not told him Oliver is his dad. He thinks he is just a friend. How can I tell him who Oliver really is? I don’t know what to do.”

“I do” said Felicity.

They talked for at least another hour. When the time came for Felicity to leave the two women hugged each other.

\---------------------

Felicity knew that Oliver would not be at home when she got back. She’d received his text and hadn’t responded. It was unlike him to go to the Foundry directly from work, unless there was an emergency. He always came home to see Robbie, even for 15 minutes before he went to sleep. He must be avoiding her after her earlier off-handedness with him.

She heard when he came into their bedroom during the early hours of the morning. He undressed and got into bed. Felicity kept very still and her breathing steady. It was better if he thought she was sleeping. She was not ready to say anything yet.

Oliver lay beside his wife. He felt calmer. Nothing much had happened on patrol. The most he'd done was stop a couple of men menacing a woman who had made the mistake of choosing to walk down an unlit alleyway, probably taking a shortcut.

After Digg left he spent an hour on the salmon ladder and then had a shower. He made his way home slowly, hoping Felicity would be asleep by the time he arrived. He wanted to delay the fall of the guillotine. In just two days he would see Samantha and hoped to settle the matter one way or another.

He looked over at his sleeping wife. He longed to pull her into his arms, wake her up with kisses and make love to her. He couldn’t remember the last time he'd kissed her properly.

\--------------------------------

Much later that day once they’d put Robbie down for the night, Felicity propelled Oliver into the sitting room and pulled him down on the couch beside her. “We need to talk about William.”

He nodded but looked bewildered. He didn’t expect this and didn’t know what to say.

“Do you trust me Oliver?"

He nodded staring at her.

“I went to see Samantha yesterday”.

Oliver looked startled. His heart was beating so hard he thought it would burst out of his chest. He took her hand “I don’t know what to say, I’m surprised and confused. What....”

“It’s okay Oliver, there’s nothing to worry about. She didn’t want to see me at first. She didn’t know I was coming. But we talked for over an hour. I sort of understand why she would force you not to tell me. It was not done from the best motives, and I guess in your zeal to protect family, both our family and William, you made the wrong decision.”  She stared at him.

Oliver raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I don’t know what to say. I was ready to go down the litigation route to try and resolve the situation with Samantha and William but I'm still unsure how to make it right between us.”

"I know. That’s what prompted me to go and see Samantha. What do you think litigation would achieve Oliver?"

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just felt I didn’t have a choice and I wanted to make things right between us."

“Can you not see that it would be like throwing gas on the fire? Samantha was very angry. Litigation would take years and William would probably end up hating you. And what would happen to our relationship in the meantime?”

Oliver sighed deeply. "I really don’t know what I would do without you. I go with the first thought that comes into my head, and its invariable wrong. I’m sorry. I'm not sure where we go from here.”

“Well Samantha and I agree the three of us should talk.”

Oliver studied his wife. She is just amazing. In one day she had achieved something that he had struggled with for over seven months now and doubted whether he would have found a satisfactory solution. She is so right the more he tried to conceal and contain things the messier life becomes.

“How...When...do we have go to...” 

“We can do either or both but I think we should begin right now.” 

He looked puzzled. "How would we...” 

Just then the Skype tone pealed from her tablet. She answered it.

“Hi Samantha. Thanks for calling." Felicity angled the tablet towards Oliver, noting the look of total surprise on his face.

“Hello Oliver as you probably know by now Felicity came to see me yesterday and we talked” Samantha informed him.

"Hi Samantha. I’ve only just now heard about that, and I can’t tell you how happy I am”. He took Felicity’s hand.

She knew it was his way of asking her to lead the conversation because he was in a state of shock and out of his depth.

“Samantha, as we agreed yesterday, are you still up for us talking to both boys separately about their new extended family and then we should all meet up?"

"Yes. Absolutely and we should do it as soon as possible. If you agree, perhaps I can bring William up this weekend?"

Felicity looked at Oliver. It was his call.

“It might be best if we prepared him first Samantha" he responded. "The weekend is only a couple of days away. Maybe the next step is for me to come to Central City and we talk to him together. Let him ask all the questions he needs to first. Then let him decide when he wants to come and meet his brother and Felicity”.

Felicity looked at Oliver. Who was this person and what had he done with her husband? He was actually putting himself in William’s shoes instead of putting his needs first.

“Yes of course. You’re right. I need to give him time to digest it all. It will be an enormous upheaval for him. Okay, we’ll let William set the pace.”

Oliver nodded. “Maybe the boys can meet via Skype first, then the first meeting might be less awkward."

The three talked until they were happy with the proposed way forward then said goodnight to each other.

Oliver drew Felicity into his arms and held her tight. He breathed her in deeply. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you." He kissed her hair.

“I told Donna the other day that the two of you must be blood relatives because your first instincts are always to conceal the truth in the mistaken belief that you are protecting the ones you love. But it does doesn’t work Oliver. The truth eventually finds a way out and when it does the results can be a thousand times more devastating than if you had told the truth in the first place.

“And I know the pressure Samantha put on you but in the end it was down to you what you did with the truth. You chose to conceal it."

I know. I’m so sorry. I get it now.” His eyelashes glistened with tears.

I forgive you Oliver, I’ll forgive almost anything in time because I love you and we are in this journey together. But a betrayal of trust is unforgiveable and one cannot come back from that. We came too close to the edge a few weeks ago. But our bond was strong enough to withstand the onslaught this time. Do you understand what I'm saying Oliver."

"It's all my..." Felicity stopped Oliver's words by putting her hand over his mouth.

"Before you say it's your fault yet again. Please stop saying that. It IS your fault. I already know that. Taking blame is meaningless unless you are serious about resisting your impulse to speak the lie and live the lie. I'm not even going to ask you to promise me to change. But I will not live with a man who betrays my trust. 

He looked at her and nodded. There were no words. He couldn't find any to express the joy that had leapt into his heart because she seemed to be indicating that she was giving him another chance. "I understand Felicity".

Later in bed together, it was Felicity who gave him a kiss on the lips and held his hand but he could tell that she was not yet ready for intimacy.

 

\----------------------

At the weekend Oliver and Felicity did their best to find an age appropriate way of telling Robbie about William.

Oliver made the first attempt but ended up looking helplessly at Felicity who tried in her own way to explain to her son that he had a brother called William who lived in his own house with his own mommy. “William came out of his mommy’s tummy and you came out of my tummy. Do you remember you were in mommy’s tummy?" Her son nodded.

“But your daddy is William’s daddy too”. Robbie just stared at her. It was Felicity’s turn to look helplessly at Oliver.

“No mommy Will-am has his own daddy. This is my daddy." Robbie pointed at Oliver.

Felicity started to say something to her son but Oliver touched her arm and shook his head.

“William is coming to see you soon buddy, would you like that?” he asked his son.

Robbie simply said “Okay. Is Will-am my new friend?”

“Yes Robbie, he is your new friend.”

 “Okay”. Like all small children he took it in his stride, not really understanding, and in that moment not caring. Robbie ran off to pursue his current interest of the moment.

Felicity laid her head on Oliver’s shoulder. “I guess that’s the best we can do for today. Let’s try again in another few days. I don’t know what else we can say or do to prepare him.”

Oliver kissed her hair. “It’s okay we’ve taken the first step and will just have to go with the flow as things happen. We can do this. Let’s leave out the ‘brother’ piece for now. That will come in time when he has more understanding and gets to know William.

“I must say facing a 3 and 10 year old is more daunting than any of the villains we’ve had to deal with.” He gave a wry smile.

“It can only get better” she told him.

\--------------------------------

Later that night Oliver was already in bed when Felicity came into their room.

His eyes were riveted on her as to his utter surprise and delight she removed every item of clothing in slow motion until was as naked as the day she was born.

He watched mesmerised and took in her beauty, her curves and translucence of her skin. For weeks she had been a pinprick on the far horizon now she was close up in all her glory and within his grasp. He could hear his heart beating with love and longing for this woman. All he wanted to do was drink her in. He wanted to hold her close and never let go.

He watched her naked body swaying gently as she disappeared into the bathroom. Oliver’s breathe caught in his throat. His heart was pounding. He wanted to rush in after her, crush her in his arms and kiss her into next week and then make love to her for the longest time. He was filled with desire for her.

But he kept his promise. She would have to make the first move.

Felicity came out of the bathroom and got into bed. She took his face between her hands and peppered it with small soft kisses. Still cupping one cheek, she sucked on his lower lip while her other hand weaved it way unhurriedly past the waistline of his boxers to find his cock which was already rock hard.

She let her finger tips touch him with him infinitesimal strokes up and down his shaft. She watched him. He sighed, his lips parted and he closed his eyes. She firmly gripped his hardened length.  He opened his eyes and looked at her and kept looking. Blue were glued on blue. He kept his hands to himself even as he longed to touch her.

The slow tortuous touch turned into a rhythmic pump. She kept watching him. She moved away from him, crouched down and lowered her head. She slowly unfurled her tongue up and down his erection until she finally took him into her mouth sucked him gently.

She was waiting. Then she heard it.

  _“Fel-i-city.”_

She smiled as she felt his hand fondling her breast and another threading through her hair.

He watched the slight bob of her head as she pleasured him. He remembered that moment weeks ago when the door closed behind her and he’d lost all reason. A grey mist shuttered his eyes and something detached itself from his body then everything plunged into darkness. The warm vibrancy of life had slipped away from him leaving cold grey ash.

She had stared deep into him just now. He wondered whether she could see herself because he carried her within him. She wasn’t only the light that banished the darkness she was also the very air he breathed.

Watching her now he couldn’t contain that raging fire that consumed and left him unfocused. He needed her. He wanted to be inside her. He had to claim her back.

He breathed her name again “ _Fel-i-city”._

Two hands lifted her away from his body and pushed her down on her back. He hovered over her. Blue eyes stared up at him in supplication. Her desire blazed back at him.

He positioned himself between her thighs and his fingers stroked her hot dripping folds. Oliver leaned down and kissed her hard at the same time he thrust his rigid cock deep inside her. Her body contorted as her thighs came up to wrap around him.

Oliver was like a man dying from lack of water but given the opportunity to slake his thirst one last time, he lost himself inside her. He was both fucking her and making love to her. There was wildness in their coupling, one primal force calling to and feeding off the other. Yet there was also an infinite tenderness where each was expressing the boundless love each one had for the other.

He loved her with every part of his being. He buried his face in her neck and breathed her in as he pounded into her. She was right there with him returning thrust for thrust.

Together they experienced the exhilaration of the surfer’s wave lifting them both and they rode its peak. He held on to her tightly. She felt when his body stilled for a millisecond as he held himself at the crest and waited for her.

He felt her deep shuddering pulse around him giving permission to let go and tumble headlong into the deep with her. His come spurted hot and urgent filling her and their mutual orgasmic release was healing and binding.

They held each other in the resonance of their love and in that moment they both knew. Their bond was unbreakable.

In a while he tried to move off her but she held him close and kissed him. “I have something more to tell you she whispered in his ear.” He raised his head and looked down at her. She stared deep into his eyes. “We are six weeks pregnant.  It was officially confirmed yesterday and I've waited to do the first scan so you can be there.”

His whoop of joy rang out in the house. She put her hand over his mouth. Shhh you’ll wake up Robbie, she grinned.

Oliver ran his hand over her stomach and kissed it several times.  Suddenly his demeanour changed and he abruptly sat up in the bed. “Felicity how long have you known you were pregnant?”

“About three weeks now. With all the upheaval with my dad and kidnap attempts, I didn’t even realise I had missed a period. I think I was running on adrenalin and it must have held most of the usual physical symptoms at bay. But my emotions were all over the place. I felt intense anger towards you because I was carrying this all by myself while you were dealing with some other woman.”

She looked at him. “I’m just being truthful here”.

“I know. I understand.” He kissed her.

“That was followed by feeling weepy and sorry for myself.”

“I felt your anger and distance in the last couple of weeks and I got really scared. So right at the time I was telling you about William you knew you were pregnant?”

“Yes”.

He pulled her up in his arms and held her tightly. “I’m so, so sorry. You should have told me”.

“And what would you have done?”

“I wouldn’t have badgered you about sorting out the problem I had created. Instead I heaped even more stress on top of what you were already carrying. You should have told me Felicity, as soon as you knew.”

“All that would achieve is to give you yet another reason to keep concealing the truth.”

“Yes. You’re right. But you must admit the timing of it all was not good.”

“The timing would never be good. The right time had long passed. It’s done now and we have survived it.”

“But it’s not done. We are going through a process of integrating William into our lives and you’re pregnant.”

She laughed. “You sound as if you are accusing me of a DUI offence.”

“I’m serious Felicity. You must promise not to bottle anything up, to talk to me during the coming weeks and months a critical time of the pregnancy.”

“You mean you want me to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth about what’s going on for me and not to conceal from you how I’m feeling.”

He sighed. “Okay I deserve that. But yes, that’s exactly what I mean. I can’t have you and our daughter experiencing any sort of distress. And you know I’ll be watching you like a hawk.”

I’m warning you Oliver, if you try to keep me bubble-wrapped like you did with Robbie I really will hit you.”

“I’ve learnt my lesson and I promise not to try it again. Now you promise me too”. 

“I promise to tell you every single time you irritate me.” 

“Okay I’ll take it. But just for tonight. My daughter needs her beauty sleep.” 

“I won’t even bother to respond to that”. 

He chuckled.

They slid back down the bed together and held each other close. “Good night my precious wife, I love you” he whispered.

“Goodnight husband”. She snuggled closer into his body.

Before too long they slipped away into that other world.

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's goodbye to the New Family Queen for now but I’d love to see them again in this incarnation. Who knows? A trilogy sounds good. Right now though I’m totally engrossed in _The Polo Player_ and his girl. The first few chapters are around somewhere.


End file.
